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At a wild guess, it could literally be the communism?
No really, I'm serious: what you are describing sounds to me like there is a sense of "ownership", as in an instance owns a community, whereupon everything else is lesser than the owner with respect to that particular content - e.g. the others "mirror" the content that is "owned" by the instance that the community is on. A master/slave relationship, in computer science terminology.
In contrast, ActivityPub sounds to me (caveat: I've never read the source) like everyone is equal, hence why every action is shared equally by all. A distributed burden. Except without the major traditional benefits of it being distributed - i.e. Aussie.Zone cannot simply connect to some other server instance with less physical distance between it and Lemmy.World, no it must go straight to the source, even when that results in a 7-day delay (and even that cutoff is only because things older than that simply get deleted).
On the other hand, there's nothing stopping someone from not respecting the deletion requests, and instead highlighting that content, in the current Lemmy framework. It would definitely be a deviation from the standard codebase though. And therefore every time there's an update or patch, there would have to be a merge event to keep that feature functional.
I wonder if the reason your idea is not done is bc it relies too much on "trusting" the client for security reasons? Although... tbf I'm not certain how much that would differ from how things are now.
Awwww, we're growing up!?:-) So even if the Fediverse eventually (in let's say a decade or two hence) becomes merely an example of what not to do, still we are in on the ground floor as we all go through these growing pains, together:-).
And we must be doing something right. Or perhaps it's that there merely aren't any other good options. But this is where the people who are good to talk with are, currently. Like you:-D.
That's a good perspective. Mbin, Piefed, and Sublinks are all now implementing the ActivityPub protocol as well as Lemmy, meaning that even if "Lemmy" were to go away or fall behind or sth, the Fediverse overall would remain (as you said, and I am agreeing:-).
And entire new categories of things too - like I think that something as central as wikipedia shouldn't be federated (Russia, China, and North Korea would all have their "set of facts", separately from what the Western world uses, and e.g. Taiwan would be banned from using the latter and thereby forced to use the former, etc.), but for more niche concepts like individual video games or movie fandoms that's a great idea, so that just one single point of failure does not cause loss of all content.:-)
(and unfortunately as we see with the Internet Archive getting attacked recently, that aspect is revealed to be of greater importance than I think most people give it credit for - it's not easy to keep something up-to-date, particularly with "recent" edits, and ActivityPub as we see does so upon literally every single change, whether you wanted it to or not!?:-P)