this post was submitted on 07 Sep 2023
186 points (97.9% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35318 readers
1413 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

My parents are 57 and 63. My mother is erratic, forgetful, and when she gets mad she sometimes screams and throws things. My father is slowly going deaf, getting slower and more stubborn and forgetful as well. They can be infuriating sometimes, but I know that they're aging and I can't be mad at them. How do I deal with this, especially early on in preparation for further down the road?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Deestan@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

They are your parents and you love them, and want them to be treated well despite any problems they have now, is how I understand your tone. No matter how much you can or can't help them, remember:

You are just human and have very real limits to what you can take.

Be conscious of how much time you spend tolerating their behavior versus time you spend taking a break from it.

Edit: Reading this back, it feels slightly like I'm just pointing out the obvious and not really answering your question, so I want to elaborate a bit on why I felt it is relevant. Any interaction you have with them while exhausted, is a danger to your relationship with your parents. You take more of a toll on your sanity, and you have an increased risk to act cold, snap at them, or use needling language. Towards people with low introspection, this is just harmful to them - they just will feel bad and act worse - the world is against them and now even their child is mean to them. I'm not saying you have to constantly cushion and coddle them, but any stance you may choose to take where you set boundaries or talk sternly at them, must come from you when you are at your strongest, not accidentally when you're driven near mad. Though avoiding confrontations all together is of course also completely valid - you know better than any of us what you can or should confront.