Deestan

Space trains yesss

This reminded me of myself age 8-9 when I would get stressed if I didn't "undo" any rotations of my body, or rounds around a table. Quite to the annoyance of my teachers and parents. Did anyone else have a phase similar to this?

This popped up for me today, and I realized is very close to how I manage to trick myself to get things done even when it feels like my body's parking brake is on.

To me it feels like just "building momentum" in any way helps. If I'm in working mode, it's easier to pick up a cleaning task than if I'm in sofa mode. Sometimes just cleaning some lint from the table is enough to get the ball rolling.

Does anyone else have this, or similar techniques?

This was the last Cold Take that Frost made for The Escapist/Gamur. After being stuck a few weeks due to nobody left at The Escapist knowing how and where to publish already finished videos, they released it and a few others today.

For those who followed the recent Escapist news, this episode appears inadvertently prescient.

Note that he still continues the series on https://www.youtube.com/@SecondWindGroup

They will never suspect a thing

You know roughly where your body is at all times, but where in it is your "self"?

Your center of mass is around the solar plexus, yet that doesn't seem to universally be where people feel the center of their self to be. Most people feel they "are" right behind their eyes, probably in the brain.

Sometimes people have out-of-body experiences, completely changing their anchor for a while.

When pointing at themselves, people tend to point a thumb at their chest or face. Do they feel differently about it, or is it just convenience?

Are you a body with a head full of thinking goop and sensors on top, or are you a head sitting on a body?

And wherever you feel you are, have you felt different at any time? Can you change it?

Personally, I can't separate the feeling of self from my vision, so "I" am directly behind my eyeballs and I can't change it.

ASD runs - or stampedes - in my family, but it never occured to my parents to have me tested, and my country is 25 years behind the curve on ASD anyway, so as long as I'm somewhat functional, it wouldn't have registered.

Every single test I've grabbed out of DSM-5, ICD 10, ICD 11, or any of the online resources I can find, score "autistic af".

And listening to autistic people, be it talks or youtube channels, always felt more like "yeah these are from my home planet".

So on a personal level, I'm pretty much settled. It makes sense of my life, and gives me easier access to ways to cope with the world.

But I still want to have it clinically diagnosed. Largely for peace of mind - it would help me a lot to know for sure-sure - but also out of frustration, where I feel it would help others. There is too much stigma on ASD making people "big babies" who can't adult and it makes me angry. As a functioning parent who handled being a ranger in the royal guard, held several different jobs, and have been a well-regarded manager, I want to show that fuck off you don't get to infantilize ASD.

Hello and thank you for reading so far.

Due to a psychiatric health crisis, I've not been able to get any national health service to try to diagnose me. Basically since I am not a child, I am only eligible if my life is falling apart, no joke. Since I function, even sometimes just out of spite and alcohol, there is no help.

Is there any online service that does diagnosis, or similar? Doesn't have to be free, just freaking available.

I just feel like I'm intruding on a private moment and just sit there tense and embarrassed until it's over. Trying not to listen to the schlorp schlorp noises.

But it's such a common trope, I so assume I'm in some weird minority.

Does anyone find it enjoyable to watch? If so, why and how?