this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
121 points (97.6% liked)
Asklemmy
43775 readers
1619 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
As a man, I wish clothes would make me feel desirable. I have asked my girlfriend which clothes she would like to see me in, but she says it's not about the clothes. That it doesn't matter. It's more about what I do. So I just dress in plain, comfortable, practical clothes which makes me, well, practical. Useful. I often wish I had options to just be desired for my body, without the pressure to achieve this or that to be desirable. It's a source of sadness for me.
I mean, looking like you know what you're doing, looking confident doesn't mean you have to dress plain.
Also I am sure gym bros will complement you on your body. Kind of like how as a straight man I only get compliments on my facial hair from other men. Look for validation from your friends not randos
True, I don't have to dress plain, but if clothes make no difference for her, I just wear what I feel most comfortable in. I know how I react when I see her in yoga pants, and I wish I had the option to affect her similarly through clothing.
Comfort can be about how you look. I have some clothes that are super comfortable, but if I wore them out in public I would be arrested because I look like a drug dealer. Find something comfy in the way that it reflects how you want to be seen
Lol no joke, all I get is "nice beard" from other dudes.
I felt like this as well, but it turns out it was gender dysphoria for me all along. Men being completely invisible is one of the hardest parts of being masc.
I mean, I'm 30 and a non traditional college student. If the weather is agreeable, I have a few nice sweaters that I'll wear with an undershirt, dark jeans, and I've got a pair of Loake boots that are very nice.
I feel GREAT when I dress like that, and get quite a few glances throughout the day. Also my wife eyeballs me as I leave the house.