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The toxicity won't disappear on its own. It has to be cleaned up.
Socially ostracizing them is dealing with it. People aren't sticking their heads in the sand here. They're telling these people that their actions have consequences, and one of those consequences is exile. Cutting people out of your life is just one part of dealing with these people.
Let me ask you this, if your kid ends up in a way not acceptable to you, will you "socially ostracize" them? Simply say "there's nothing i can do" and cut them out of your life?
If so, then I am sad for you. Not pity, just sadness.
If not, then why not feel the same for your parents? Because they're old or something like that?
I don't know. It's just.. eh, can't even use 'weird' anymore.. maybe 'lame' works. It's lame to be so decisive in giving up, yet still flower it up as some sort of moral punishment.
Yeh, people are dumb. Yeh, people can be evil. And yeh, some people are irremediable with too much wrongdoing to be forgiven. But it's important to know the difference between these aspects and treat them accordingly. Otherwise, it's just being lazy about it.
Do you not understand the concept of compounding events or something?
This isn't coming from nowhere and it's not the first action people are taking.
This is coming from 10-20 years of dealing with these people. The drunk uncle going on about "the darkies" every Thanksgiving since Reagan was in office. The in-laws making comments about how they respect you as a person, they just can't support your "gay lifestyle." The mother or father asking why you can't just be a feminine gay man instead of trans. People who have had years of their cognitive dissonance pointed out to them as they repeatedly vote for politicians who want to hurt their friends and family.
And now, as the thugs are donning their jackboots and people are saying, "Enough is enough, you're a danger to my life and right to freedom," you're wondering why the abuser doesn't deserve to be in their victims' lives?
The path of least resistance.
We often walk it without even realizing it.
The drunk uncle. Alcohol is called liquid courage for a reason. Has anyone tried since Reagan to teach him throughout the year he's got nothing to fear or was he left to stew with only a propaganda channel as company and then only rebuked at Thanksgiving?
In-laws. Nosy relatives are a staple of large family gatherings. They usually don't really care about your "gay lifestyle", they just want to nag, nitpick and compare. "Look at me and my kids! We're all proper and shit! Nyeh nyeh nyeh!" Even if you shut them down on one thing, they just move on to something else. The cunts. But that's just how some social contracts work.
Parents. The biological urge to reproduce is often times a contest of wills that the urge tends to win. Parents want biological grandchildren. When the possibility of getting one drops to zero, it's a shock to the system. Does not compute. "Feminine gay man" is a fucking win in the face of that.
You want people to make difficult decisions because they're the right thing to do, but you don't care to understand how or why these type of decisions are difficult to them. Because it harms you, it harms others. Well guess what, harm comes in different shapes and forms, often unnoticed and unchallenged.
If you're unwilling to understand the difficulty in changing who you are, who you've been for a large part of your life without a constant impetus to push forward that change, then do you really deserve that type of understanding from others? To clarify further, you're the impetus. Without you there to push them towards acceptance, who exactly are you expecting to do that for them? Fox news?
It's hard, very hard, so hard that many just pack up and run. And that's fine. It's completely fine. But it ain't the right thing to do, it's the left one.
Now you're just justifying the actions of abusers. Your speculated scenarios are as likely to be accurate as they are to be completely off the mark. Just like your assumption that the people cutting extremists out of their lives never put any effort into changing their beliefs.
The same exact words apply to your own argument. You might as well be saying, "Abusive parents deserve to be in their grandchildrens' lives because it's harmful to them to not be allowed to see their grandkids."
Your problem is that you believe their actions aren't supposed to be justified. But that's the wrong approach. "Every action has consequences" is just bullshit on its own. The web of reaction is as old as the universe and us picking which action deserve a certain reaction is nothing more than personal whim.
We're flawed beings, all of us. I can't be right for every situation, but neither can you. And the difference between us is that I want to try and treat each individual as an individual. You may see this as excusing an abuser, I see it as fighting against abuse.
I won't protect everyone and i can't protect everyone, but just like any other kind of death row decision, it has to be earned. Each degree of punishment has to be fair. The chance for redemption has to be given. Punishment should be for the purpose of rehabilitation. And if we can't do it at an individual level, how can we expect it to be done for a better society.
Being just is hard work. And if you can't do it, why expect it of others?