this post was submitted on 12 Feb 2025
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[–] zephorah@lemm.ee 98 points 2 months ago (4 children)

I don’t understand public proposals intentionally done before a crowd. Proposals at other people’s weddings are downright bizarre.

[–] crony@lemmy.cronyakatsuki.xyz 24 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

They are only bizare if they didn't get permission from the couple that's having their wedding.

Otherwise they can be a nice suprise for the wedding.

As for public one's in general they are 100% bizarre.

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think this only makes sense if the engaging couple are like super close with the wedding pair. And even then it depends a lot on the personalities of the couple getting married

[–] crony@lemmy.cronyakatsuki.xyz 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Exactly why I mentioned getting permission.

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

My point is that even asking permission is very weird in most cases.

[–] spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, you're basically asking for permission to upstage the couple getting married at their own wedding.

[–] crony@lemmy.cronyakatsuki.xyz 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it depends on the presentation and timing,

If you ask for permissions and the ceouple agrees, the couple can mention that is another important annoncment happenning and they let the ither couple do their thing, can end up being a nice memory if done correctly and they don't really upstage it if done correctly, only add to the happines of the event.

But if done abruptly and without permission then yes, i agree it's just upstaging and destroying thr wedding of someone else.

Note: here it's normal for couples to propose on someone's wedding if they got permission and the couple having the wedding announces something happenning. Ends uo being a nice memorh where the two couples come together and celebrate getting married and proposed to.

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I agree with this. A wedding exists to celebrate love and happiness. I could never be upset at someone bringing additional love and happiness to my celebration of love and happiness. People who are have missed the point of a wedding, I think.

If they're an asshole about it and completely take over the wedding with it, sure. But that doesn't really happen. Your wedding has an invite list, everyone you invited came here to see your wedding, presumably they aren't all itching to go see this other extra proposal/wedding that cropped up out of nowhere.

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Because marriages and weddings are to show the community you're together. That's the whole point. Some people are a bit more extrovert about it than others, as in all things.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Yeah but community pressure shouldn't factor into the equation when making the decison

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Chances are, they've talked about it beforehand and it's only a matter of making the decision public...

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yes, but just like how I might say I want a cup of tea later, only for later to come and I realise that I dont actually want the tea after all, I should be able to refuse without feeling pressured to conform because of the expecting audience

[–] Ephera@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, I'm hoping, they also talked about whether she wants a public proposal. If she told him to ask her with a megaphone, whether she wants tea, then she's hopefully sure enough. Well, and it's not either like she'll have to empty that cup of tea right then and there. There's still plenty ways to back out, if she starts doubting herself.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

here's indeed to hoping all of that

[–] mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Yeah except people do care about this.

Not me though!

Unless others also care about this? In which case yeah I agree.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 months ago

the more people are watching, the harder it is to say no

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I was at a hockey game last weekend where a guy proposed. The camera man couldn’t even be bothered to walk down and catch their faces so all we saw was the back of their heads on the Jumbotron, I thought it was hilarious.

At other peoples’ wedding, that’s just rude.