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Touching Paper Receipts for 10 Seconds Results in Unsafe Exposure to Highly Toxic BPS: Watchdog.
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this post was submitted on 14 Apr 2025
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Obligatory Mitch Hedberg:
I don't need a receipt for a doughnut. I'll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction! We don't need to bring ink and paper into this! I can't imagine a scenario where I'd have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend...'Don't even act like I didn't get that doughnut! I've got the documentation right here! Oh, wait, it's back home, in the file. Under d...for doughnut.'
Obligatory Patrice O'Neal retort:
"I do a lot of stuff to protect myself. I keep my receipts. I collect receipts 'cause that's a trail of where you been, man. Everywhere I go I get a receipt. And I never go more than a half hour without buying something cause you could kill somebody in a half hour, and then you need an alibi."
My company's accountant: if there is no receipt, you had no doughnut, you get no reimbursement.
I mean, yes, but that breaks down when you start thinking about a donut, two croissants, a cheese scone, and 3 coffees, 2 regular, 1 large, one with regular milk, one with almond milk, and one black, for me and the two friends in the office who then need to think about reimbursement
American much? 😅
Because only Americans buy more than a single donut?
The only people I've ever known to not grasp the friendly concept of "I've got next".
If I'm only getting a scone and a small black coffee, I'm not paying for your soy mocha latte with almond sprinkles and unicorn hair. "I've got next" is a luxury of those not on a budget. All my friends get it, and we all agree you pay for your own. We save rounds for the bar where everyone is drinking the same thing
Also, fwiw, I've never even been to America
If you've got "friends" that aren't mature enough to know better than to stick anyone else with their bullshit order when you're grabbing "coffee", I don't know what to tell ya — but I'd just tell 'em "Nope" and move along. It's really not that hard, and setting healthy boundaries helps others with theirs (in a perfect world). 🤷🏼♂️🤞🏼 Good luck!
Also, aside from the scenery, you're not missing much right now.
We were discussing the usefulness of receipts, why are we now discussing the maturity of my friends and my ability to set boundaries?
I'm more than happy to pick up whatever my friends would like... because they're my friends, and so long as I have hands to carry it, it's not an imposition.
I just expect them to pay for it. Expecting me to foot the bill WOULD be an imposition, and I wouldn't be ok with that. THAT is my healthy boundary.
Receipts help with this.
There is no one size fits all when it comes to group dynamics like this, and I'll thank you to not make assumptions about my friends like that.