That’s not how we use the word, though. Nobody calls that “involuntary” if it’s just a hole that happened to be there. If somebody put you in the hole, then it’s involuntary. The way “involuntary” is used in English, there is a connotation of an entity with a will that overrides your will.

The reason the term "involuntary" is used is to differentiate from voluntary celibates, like Catholic priests, who the cultural zeitgeist most readily associates with the word "celibate". You're reading too much into it.

Don’t complain that there are too many. That’s why we have ratings. When you say “the floodgates are open”, you’re just trying to blame somebody else for your lack of effort.

You phrased it that way because that’s how you think about it. You blamed the women, and you still do.

So you are saying I'm lazy, and also misogynistic... Seems weirdly antagonistic for what is essentially a semantics argument. Like, seriously, I'm giving you my personal lived experience, and you're putting words in my mouth and calling me names. You're clearly getting way too worked up over this, so I'm gonna end this conversation before your temper tantrum gets worse.

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world -3 points 5 days ago

The reason the term “involuntary” is used is to differentiate from voluntary celibates, like Catholic priests, who the cultural zeitgeist most readily associates with the word “celibate”. You’re reading too much into it.

People often intentionally use the wrong words when describing themselves when using the correct words makes them sound bad. "pro life" "national socialism" are a couple of well-known examples.

The first person who used the term "involuntary celibate" was using it for sympathy, not accuracy. "Involuntary" was never the correct word because "celibate" wasn't the correct word, as "celibate" has the connotation of being a choice. They used the wrong term because something like "sexless" doesn't get sympathy.

Like, seriously, I’m giving you my personal lived experience, and you’re putting words in my mouth and calling me names.

I probably shouldn't have talked about "you" so much, but the reason I did is that you are talking not only about yourself, but about the subject, and I realized that you haven't actually changed, and that you still need help. And I don't remember calling you any names. And I'm not putting words in your mouth. I am literally quoting you. I am using your choice of words to expose you to yourself.