this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2025
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A Boring Dystopia

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Assuming it was federal minimum wage of $7.25/hr and he was working 60 hour weeks with 20 hours of time and a half pay at $10.875 it would take exactly 9,149,826 years working 3120 hours a year for a total of 28,547,457,120 hours worked. Or if satan is nice and lets him have more time off and jeff only has to work 40 hours a week then he will have to work 15,994,695 years or a total of 33,268,965,600 hours. If only hell were real so billionaires could be adequately punished.

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[–] CrayonDevourer@lemmy.world 89 points 4 days ago (7 children)

This isn't right - this all assumes he gets to keep his money. Now take $1500/month in rent, $200 in food, SS, sales tax, etc.

[–] Witchfire@lemmy.world 46 points 4 days ago (2 children)

He has to build up his wealth with post-tax, post-rent money made using minimum wage. Hope he likes rice and lentils

[–] SebaDC@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 4 days ago

No more ducking avocado toasts for you, Jeff! Who's laughing now?

[–] TheRedSpade@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Gotta cap him on the hours every few weeks too. Don't want him hitting full-time status.

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago (1 children)

So, basically, we're just living in hell right now.

[–] tacosanonymous@mander.xyz 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] crandlecan@mander.xyz 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yep. Not a fan and I have some comments and suggestions, if I may?

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

We are experiencing higher than normal call volumes and hold times. Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order in which it was received

[–] crandlecan@mander.xyz 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Can I get some music while I wait?? 🧐

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Turns out Nickelback went to hell and they have to continuously perform for eternity to operate hell’s hold music, so, you can listen to something while you wait. If you hit 2 you get Jessica Black’s Friday on repeat but you can’t go back, so choose carefully

[–] crandlecan@mander.xyz 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

👍 (adding another suggestion to the list)

[–] Exusia@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

A poorly ripped, grainy low quality mp3 that sounds vaguely like a song you heard once in some kind of office elevator plays, that is 23 seconds long, but is looped for a 30 second timer, then theres an unnaturally long pause before the "your call is important to us" message plays, completing a 1 minute time cycle.

The music starts again.

[–] crandlecan@mander.xyz 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You, sir, (or madam) deserve a drafty spot in hell

[–] Exusia@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

No, the company that played this, that I remember such an exact shitty hold, does. I wish I could remember the name of the company too - I hate them so much for this. The fact you get the first 7 seconds of the song a second time, followed by the pause that makes you think someone picked up has got to be the most rage-inducing thing I have ever heard.

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 8 points 3 days ago

The et cetera: Shouldn't be allowed to work overtime either. And they should get taxed more if they work a second job, so only 40 hours per week. Attach ridiculous fees to any attempt at saving money in a bank, can't have their money earning interest for them. They should also be in a high cost of living part of hell with no public transportation. And they should be forced to buy their own safety equipment. They should have to pay for healthcare out of pocket, no good health insurance. And they should be penalized for aging the same way too, with new billionaires coming in cheaper and forcing them out of their position and making their experience a liability in finding new work. Let's throw in some inflation to keeps things spicy. An HOA that is constantly fighting them and won't let them grow food. How about random detentions and beatings for being the wrong shade in the wrong part of hell town, the part they work in. And they should never be allowed to forget for one moment what they had in life and how they squandered it on petty selfish things.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

And, it should be treated like a loan, with the interest frontloaded.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

$200/week in food. Also through in gas money for his area.

[–] ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Don't forget inflation on top of all that!

[–] ExploitedAmerican@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

Lol I saw someone do the math where he was only allowed to keep a penny a day. I mean I don't think you need to pay rent of eat in hell. You probably just get tortured non stop after doing some awful grueling repetitive work like breaking rocks. That’s better than he deserves.