this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2025
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Seems a lot of us learned to avoid relationships. School isn't really a good place for socialization
Bingo bango. I seethe inside when I hear people talking about forming friendships and smoothly sailing around in social situations, telling others to just be themselves and be happy. The majority of them could never even comprehend what true bullying is. That shit affects you for life, and you'd be lucky if you ever get someone close enough to be able to be open again.
The fact that schools are fertile ground for this type of abuse isn't talked about enough. It's only good because it's the only option left where large numbers of kids gather in one place. If school sucks for you the internet is your only other option
Exactly! You said it. Just because you stick a bunch of kids together for hours on end does not mean they will become friends. Some do but many of these relationships would not happen outside of a school setting, same as friends from work enviroments I guess. Some friendships can be formed IMO if the school/work setting bond can be translated/migrate to other settings. For example, I now have friends who started as clients of teachers or whatever and our relationship has many different layers and tendrils. I like that.
I have one friend with whom I just celebrated 25 years of friendship with and we have been through ot all: Family deaths, marriages, having kids, getting jobs, losing jobs, moving countries, etc. And we could not be more different from each other if we tried lol. What I am trying to say is that making friends is not for the weak and I applaud you for putting yourself out there as scary or stupid it can feel sometimes.
Schools also make a lot of structural decitions that make genuine socialization harder
Absolutely.