this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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Can I uninvite the whole wedding and save $25,000? No, it's expected of me to spend that money.
Just uninvite the bride.
Janeway: Wife bad!
Eloping was one of the best decisions my wife and I ever made. We still spent a bunch, but it was for the two week vacation that went along with the elopement instead of 3-4x that for a single day.
This is what we plan to do. Makes no sense to throw all that money away for a silly ceremony where you're bound by what everyone else expects of you. We'd rather do something special for ourselves.
If it's expected, you have a circle of friends that do not really align with your idea of a good life. Sounds harsh, but please, I've been to fun weddings that were had at maybe 3k€ and nobody left hungry or thirsty and the close family guests from far away were even booked rooms nearby.
I won't say that's impossible but claims like that need a year, country, and count of guests.
2011-ish, Bavaria, 30-ish guests.
Ok, I can see that pricepoint with those metrics.
In my wedding culture (African), a small wedding has 60 guests, and a respectable one cracks 100. If you're doing that anywhere in the West, you're racking up a charge even if you're trying to be frugal.
But it also doesn't feel good for many people to have to scrimp and save on one of the few big social events of adult life, besides the funeral.
Don’t Wedding guests give money as gift?
Yeah, but it's like a 30% rebate unless you've got rich and generous guests.
And most venues won't accept an IOU for after your wedding guests make you good for it.