this post was submitted on 06 Oct 2025
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I would understand the concomitant urge to act like you're an Indestructible Demigod of Finding Out, but the wisdom of my years are telling me that you need to maybe have a heart to heart with the DM, and explain how the stakes don't feel real if you're always one bad roll away from a Deus Ex Machina. Tell them that they should feel free to let fate take its toll, that you accept the risk, and that you will do your level best to have any accidental deaths mean something and contribute to the story.
Haha yeah, that's definitely the right way to go, but the problem is not wrong expectations. He already DM'd a campaign for me a few years back and I knew what I was getting into. It's just not his style. I crave for gritty old-school dungeon crawling, while he loves narrative-heavy games where dialogue takes priority and backstories tie heavily with in-game events.
It's not all bad though, we still have fun, and my group takes turns at DMing - we all get to play what we like eventually, and offers variety in the long run. I would not play tabletop with any other group.
I had something like that with my last group. I was the guy who was always playing someone crazy to die for some reason or another, but when it came my time to DM I'd do way too much worldbuilding and make everything insane and lore driven. I still haven't found a new group after moving far away, I miss it.