this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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I bet this sounds like a stupid question - especially coming from a man. However, NoStupidQuestions doesn’t allow NSFW topics, so here I am - bear with me.

I genuinely don’t know what this feels like from the inside. I see so many men go to extreme lengths to chase women - sometimes even risking their careers or relationships just to get laid. Some are literally willing to pay for it. I don’t get it. What does that pull actually feel like?

I’m not judging - I’m trying to understand. I only know what it looks like from the outside, but I have no idea what it’s like on the inside. I’ve had sex multiple times, and it’s fine, but it seems vastly overrated to me. Clearly, I’m not getting out of it what most other men are, so I’m trying to understand the baseline experience.

My motivation for asking is that I’m working on myself and hoping that, eventually, I’ll be able to feel even a fraction of that same pull. However, with things like lifting weights, I at least have a clear image in mind of what I’m working toward - but it’s harder to define that when it comes to subjective experiences.

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[–] EfreetSK@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (18 children)

I can't answer because I have it exactly the same as you OP, just maybe to add some points. As you said, I remember seeing my friends having this incredible drive, this incredible pull, like nothing in the world is more important right here right now than to get that girl tonight. Lying, backstabbing, spending money, anything goes. It was to the point they basically changed personalities almost completely. I remember the worst example was that one time one of my best friends tried to ridicule me in front of a girl he met like 30 min ago (and I saw he's immediately interested in her), because me and her were chatting about something and she seemed interested in the topic. I was like "dude wtf? I'm not trying to 'steal her' from you, we're just talking"

But anyway, some 2 cents what helped me with that. So I did 2 things at almost the same time and I'm not sure which one did the trick - I started exercising (running) and stopped masturbating. But my guess is it was the later, after like a month I felt like I could 'smell the colors' - I was constantly horny and my shyness went almost completely away. The pull still wasn't on the level of my friends, but yeah, there was a change in me

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 14 points 1 week ago (16 children)

I’ve never seen nofap advice given in good faith.

[–] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 3 points 1 week ago

I've done NNN a couple times and found the "benefits" to be pretty minor. It did make me more aggressive and outgoing but that started after a few days and leveled off quickly and by the end of it I was practically foaming at the mouth anytime anything remotely sexy happened which was really annoying.. So if jerking too much is dulling your edge maybe cut back to every few days but otherwise I don't see what all the fuss is about.

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