this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
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Grey area. The suggestion that it's pedophilia is silly given they're close in age, but a 3-4 year age gap when someone is 16 can be pretty significant; I'd consider it a warning sign.
Definitely a warning sign. It really depends on the specifics because people mature at different rates, but there's a much higher chance of it being problematic. There's the half your age plus 7 rule, but it doesn't really work if you are under 22.
Doesn't it?
These line up with my intuition for the age gap being acceptable, not something that should raise eyebrows. A little outside that becomes a warning sign. A lot outside that is almost certainly abusive.
21 and 17 can be a big gap, even 20 and 17 can be. It's not as clear cut as 22, which can also be sketchy but is at least recognized as fully legal everywhere. I think there's too much diversity in maturity and life experience at those young ages, the potential for issues increases so those kinds of relationships are inherently concerning in ways that relationships involving legal adults are not. I'm not saying they are inherently problematic, but if you know people with that kind of age gap you should be looking out for the underage person to ensure they aren't being taken advantage of.
Yeah, my first boyfriend had been jumped up two grades, so I was 16 and he was 14. It never went beyond awkward kissing in the alley after class tho.
Not pedophilia since not prepubescent.
In the medical sense a therapist treating someone for pedophilia would use the term, you're correct. In a colloquial sense, Epstein was a pedophile.