this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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What, is it a fucking race?
A couple minutes while the water heats up to undress and brush tangles outta my hair.
A couple minutes to rub in shampoo, massage into the scalp, and rinse.
A couple minutes to rub in conditioner, brush it through my hair, massage into the scalp, and rinse.
A couple minutes to scrub my body with soap and rinse.
A couple minutes to enjoy the warmth of the water and make sure everything is fully rinsed off.
A couple minutes to rinse stray hairs and soap suds off the shower walls.
A couple minutes to dry off, maybe 4 or 5 if I really wanna get my hair dry.
A couple minutes re-brushing the tangles outta my hair.
A couple minutes putting oil in my beard/hair, then coming/styling my beard/mustache.
A couple minutes brushing my teeth.
A couple minutes putting clothes on.
At minimum it's a 22-minute affair, but let's round up to 30 because it's the first thing in the morning and I'm not moving as fast as I could be yet. What's the problem with any of the stuff on that list? What am I doing that's too slow for the 10-minute showerers (whom I never question for taking 10 minute showers, btw)?
Exactly. Of course I can make myself wet slather some soap on my body. That's not washing, though. Washing means to scrub until squeaky clean. I have observed people go in the shower stinky and come out only slightly stinky. Why?
Then there's things like remove hard skin from the feet, cut nails, shave.
Use a fascial scrub on the face.
After the shower applying facial cream and body lotion also takes a little time.
Finally: collect hair from drain, dry off water that sploshed around