this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2026
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I think they do want to leave. They just don’t want to be the first to leave among their group, because they’re afraid of going it alone. Complaining then serves as a way of trying to build a consensus around leaving as a group. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Why it works when it works will remain a mystery to me.
Wait, you guys had groups? I used Reddit for years and it never felt like a community. Was this hard for anybody here?
Yes, they are some pretty good niche subs that can't exist in Lemmy due to critical mass. I still read them from time to time but mostly stopped participating. Except for one related to my job so it benefits me a lot to stay connected to my professional community.
It’s all about the small subreddits. Ones where a new post can stay on the page for several days in a row but there are plenty of new comments and posts to keep discussions going without everyone losing interest. These are communities where you get to know the regular posters and beginners are welcomed with friendly advice, rather than chastised for asking repeated questions (beginners always repeat frequently asked questions; that’s a universal rule).
I think it’s also pretty important that the inflow of new members is not too high or nonexistent for that matter. And that the outflow of people leaving is roughly balanced with the inflow, so the community doesn’t grow too fast and it doesn’t wither away either.
So they're cowards.
What you are describing is cowardice.
So I take it you’re living in a cabin in the woods, all by yourself, growing your own food and living off the land, completely alone? What are you doing on the internet then? You didn’t build that all by yourself!
Quitting Reddit is a far cry from "living off the grid" lmao
Totally missing the point. People not wanting to walk away from a community they belong to doesn’t make them cowards, it makes them human.
Not standing up for things you claim to believe in or care about makes you a hypocrite and/or a coward.
If your fear of group ostracization or abandonment outwreighs your other sense of values... you are either a coward, or, you don't actually have the values you seem to think you do.
You said it yourself, in your hypothetical, that they want to leave, which implies they comprehend that being there is bad... but they're afraid, so they don't.
How is that not cowardice?
It takes bravery to stand against a group, to critique them, and still be involved with them.
Either they don't really want to, thus they're hypocrites, or they do but they're afraid, thus they are cowards.
Perhaps a mix of both, but it has to be at least one.
Have you ever been in a cult?
An absuive relationship?
A toxic social circle?
It takes courage to get out of those things.
We’re not talking about a cult or an abusive situation, we’re talking about a community that is hosted on a platform which has problems that are growing over time (ownership that is gradually enshittifying it). But even if it were an abusive situation, people still find it hard to leave. Do you call women in abusive relationships hypocrites and/or cowards if they encourage others to leave their abusive relationships while struggling to leave their own?
Different people have different ties to a community as well. I think many people who left Reddit forever did not have very strong ties anyway, so they had less to lose by leaving. People with stronger ties are going to have a harder time leaving and they’re going to complain louder in the (possibly forlorn) hope they encourage everyone to leave along with them.
This person is missing that there are whole microc communities that have no equalvalent anywhere is. If you want to connect with parents of autistic kids, it's reddit, all the random hype local shard communities of Facebook, or hoping you find an invite to the countless secret groups you can't even see unless you know about them or get invited. That's it. There was an attempt to leave reddit during the API thing and it failed. Everyone has to move in mass or no one moves for these kind of hyper specific groups and they are mandatory for parents. The medical resources for parents are awful especially if your child doesn't have the worst version. Reddit is basically the only resource. Who is going to abandon a group to help them care for theit child over something like this. Maybe other things, but when you have limited choices, you hold your nose.
Go look again the OP image that spawned this entire conversation.
You're gonna tell me that advertising for homocidal fascist goons, as a business model, is not abusive?
That an enshittifying platform that literally sold out so that a couple owners could extract even MORE money out of everyone around them... thats not abusive?
I'm sorry you have a problem with the word coward, but, I am using it correctly, in applying it to your scenario.
Yeah, all your points abouts about why its difficult to leave are valid, its complex when you go into detail, when you take it case by case.
But when you zoom out, and write a memoir or a summary about it... it boils down to, as I already said, either your values of not using an exploitative platform don't exceed your need for using it, for whatever reason, or, you're afraid of losing social connections or social standing.
People with strong ties to a reddit community and strong values and courage... could become leaders in trying to orchestrate or encourage an exodus or relocation.
Yeah, rocking the boat to get people's attention is harder than pretending it isn't sinking.
If you’re comparing ads on Reddit, even for a fascist organization, to a boyfriend/husband who beats his partner bloody, I’m sorry but you’ve lost me. How many people do you think even see ads on Reddit? Most people block ads these days.
If you want to zoom out, zoom all the way out. Listen to Mark Carney’s speech. The so-called liberal rules-based international order was always built on hypocrisy. A willingness on the part of liberal democratic countries to tolerate and even participate in the violation of the rights of others, while decrying the overreach of totalitarians who in turn laugh and point out our hypocrisy.
The appeal to hypocrisy and cowardice won’t achieve any of your goals. If anything it’ll only encourage people to dig in their heels and resist migration. After all, why would they want to leave their community and come here when it’s clear they won’t be welcome?
Appeal to hypocrisy and cowardice?
You think I'm arguing this... as rhetorically convincing way of...migrating people... to another ... position?
We're not on reddit. I don't talk to redditors.
Because I think the vast majority of them are willing participants in a destructive and abusive system.
I'm not doing PR, I'm using a word to accurately the vast majority of such people in the situation you described.
I'm... not going to constantly police my speech to be some kind of maximally appealling and welcoming to everyone.
I say what I think.
If that upsets you, I don't care, block me, please.
I'm not a politician trying to craft a maximally acceptable political message.
If you want that kind of social environment... go back to the reddit hivemind.
You are one cynical, miserable human being. I hope one day your life gets better than it is now. Wow!