this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2023
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You feel being under attack which triggers many different negative emotions.
Maybe read "Never Split the Difference" and learn how to have difficult conversations with just about anyone - without triggering anybody's emotions.
What's interesting about family is that you'll usually find all the "personality types" represented by one or more siblings or relatives. And the "black sheep" may be tarred and feathered.
Google "analytical driver expressive amiable" and dig a litter deeper on the better sites. To better connect, engage, and build trust with the other personality types,it helps to tone down the criteria that conflict and turn up the volume on the criteria that align.
If you take the time reflect on the many unpleasant conversations you've had with family members, what are the actual reasons for shaming (pressured into complying) you?
Can you share their EXACT words. We all interpret words our way. Sometimes meaning and intent get lost in the heated exchanges.
Do you know what is the "desired outcome/goal?" Compliance with some family norm or standard? Cutting you off from some shared family assets? Something else?
When people put that much energy in an activity, there has to be a purpose.
Step 1 is to make sure that YOU and them are on the same page understanding what's going on.
And what has the family ambassador have to say?