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Have you ever broken up with a friend and cut them out of your life? How'd that go? (piefed.social)

submitted 2 months ago by Doug@piefed.social to c/casualconversation@piefed.social

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They say it’s harder to break up with friends than a romantic partner since the rules are a lot less cut-and-dry. This often results in people tolerating others’ company they otherwise wouldn’t be around because they can’t bring themselves to cut them loose.

I’ve only ever friend broken up with one other person who was going down a 4chan bigotry rabbit hole back in the day, and he’d constantly bring up problematic talking points that I’d try to dismantle, but he was too dogmatic to have a conversation with so I had to stop being friends with him.

I check up on his online presence every now and again, but he’s only gotten more racist and sexist. Sometimes I wonder if having more pushback from me or someone outside whatever echo chamber he was in would’ve helped, but he just sapped my energy so much I couldn’t take it.

(trivia for older internet peeps; he was the Legorobot Comics author. If you ever saw his work you could probably tell he was gonna grow up to be a bigot)

Anyways, what’s your friend break up story? What was the last straw? What was the first straw? Any regrets?

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[–] Suck_on_my_Presence@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Just posted this this morning, so I'll just copy paste here

I had a friend break up with me. We got really close pretty quickly (by my frigid standards for sure), and spent a ton of time together. We shared hobbies and did a load of work. Aside from one or two little quirks, the relationship was fantastic.

And then idk. It just got super fucking toxic. I'm sure I'm at fault somewhere in there, but for the majority it just felt like my friend was going off the deep end and there was nothing I was allowed to say during any conversation that wouldn't end up in paragraphs of a text later. I spent almost an entire year of wondering what I was doing wrong, of what I could do to help... just anything.

And then I was told Christmas eve that they couldn't handle it any more and they ghosted.

We ended up having a conversation a few months later but I was basically told I had no emotional value to them anymore. Talk about a punch to the gut.

So yeah. Fucking painful as hell. And I still don't understand what happened, and I assume I never will. My now partner has been friends with this ex friend since childhood, so I'm concerned about future get togethers. But what can you do