this post was submitted on 12 May 2026
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To your last sentence, if we hadn't killed their predators we wouldn't have that problem.
And venison salami is the best.
To your point, I think if their natural predators were still around we'd also have a lot fewer children around.
Venison salami IS delicious.
I'm here to represent the Wolf In Your Neighborhood Movement.
With enough funds raised, we can deliver a pack of wild ass wolves to a neighborhood of your choosing. It might be yours, it might be that of a neighboring community.
Our wolves are bred to the highest standards and are promised to be the most lean, fast, and aggressive wolves you can find anywhere. They're real assholes.
They solve many problems such as:
People who jog in the road Irritating pets left outside/unsupervised Irritating children left outside/unsupervised Too many deer Humans that lack common sense Humans that cannot run fast Humans that are taking out their trash Porch pirates Caribbean Pirates Door to door solicitations Religious folks
If you're willing to donate money to our cause, we can have a pack of wolves into the neighborhood of your choosing in under 30 days.
in favor but only if you primarily, ahem, "help" billionaire neighborhoods.
Don't let your kids wander into the wilderness unattended and they won't get preyed upon.
You're silly, I like you. Their natural predators will gladly figure out how to open the sliding door on your back porch to explore.
Yeah, but all the inattentive parents can now successfully pass on their genes and social values... Which is why we're seeing a huge age verification push online right now. If those people or their children got mauled or eaten at higher rates then we wouldn't have this problem.
Sounds like a win-win situation to me
Going back to Grimm's times.
Boar salami is delicious as well!
In my state, hogs are such a problem that you can charter a helicopter to shoot them with a minigun.
The no hunting limit will come in handy when the famine starts.
What a fantastic discussion this is my god I love the agreeableness of it all.
Never had venison salami, want to try now.