Title text:
Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.
Transcript:
Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com
Source: https://xkcd.com/3245/
That pretty much narrows the number of watches (including non-smart ones) you can buy down to zero.
Well, IIRC there's the PineTime and the new Pebble, but yeah, that's why I don't own a smartwatch/fitness tracker even though I'd like to.
AsteroidOS is available for all these devices.