this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2026
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I, too, always keep an open bottle of vodka in my car, accessible from the driver's seat. It's just common sense.
So when the cops stop you, you can take a swig right in front of them. Then they can't prove you were drunk before that and can't give you a DUI
Of course! You dont want to be fumbling around god knows where for that shit! Its unsafe.
Exactly, that's why I keep it right next to my loaded pistol and bag of oxy
It's embarrassing when you go for a shot of vodka and end up with a pistol barrel in your mouth instead.
Classic Wednesday night.
I was going to make a pun about Russian roulette with vodka or a bullet, but I realized vodka or bullet would still just be Russian roulette.
Happens all. The. Time.
You can put it in a water bladder and strap it to the sun visor. Now you have a handy straw and then it's as simple as taking a sip whenever you feel your vision go unblurry
I promised to use this knowledge only for good.
I like to take a shot every time I see a black car, gets me ready for work in the morning. Obviously I don't drink and drive that would be dangerous, I wait until I'm traffic lights.
The vast majority of accidents are caused by sober drivers. Thank you for doing your part to keep our roads safe!
I also sit in the parking lot before a date just staring at people in the cars next to me.
A fifth of vodka, a loaded & unregistered pistol, a crack pipe, and a photo album of me walking by adorable dogs and not stopping to offer pets.
You might as well have a child in the trunk at that point, you monster.
No meth pipe? No videos of you putting kittens in dumpsters? Fucking amateur
I know. I’m slacking off. My bad.