this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2023
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Tommy DeVito makes $44,000 a game and lives with his mom. It makes sense (www.theguardian.com)
submitted 10 months ago by zsreport@alien.top to c/nfl@nfl.community
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[–] PaddyMayonaise@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago (16 children)

“Tommy, tommy, ya gotta get ready fa church. Let’s go, your grahndmutha alreadys got the pork roll ready and ya eggs are gettin cold, sweety, yav got to get up and go.”

“Ma. MA. I TOLJA already. I can’t! I play for the Giants now, I gotta game! I gotta get ta work, ma! You KNÜ this!”

“Ah, so your little game is more important than breakfast with your grandma and your own mother. Fine. Go play ya game, Thomas.”

[–] goodeats93@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Taylor ham not pork roll.

[–] alsott@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Tommy's dad for sure wears a wife-beater and a gold chain of St. Mary, and chews on a the same toothpick all day

[–] momoneymocats1@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Is this original? If so bravo this is amazing

[–] Fair_Lecture_3463@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

“Ya cousin Nicky is a big shot stock trader at the strip mall next to Vito’s Daily Slice, AND HE still makes time fuh his grandma and his mahm!”

[–] SSPeteCarroll@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

oh god all my catholic guilt just came back at once.

I'm gonna go call my mom

[–] Unluckybastard96@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

“Tommy what’s da matah with you, you’re breakin your muthas hart 🤌🤌🤌”

[–] WorldOnFire83@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Is Tommy's mom my mom? Well done capturing the Italian-American mom guilt, which, for some reason, always includes the use of their kids' full name.

[–] do_you_know_doug@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

The "Thomas" at the end is what makes this authentic.

[–] taztapftw@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

This was the amazing thank you for this

[–] Temporal_Enigma@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago (3 children)

"I wish the Lord would take me now"

[–] wit_T_user_name@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago (3 children)

Tommy DeVito never had the makings of a varsity athlete.

[–] dbrank@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

You used to say the same thing to all the girl cousins, it was very hurtful

[–] Crando@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

He led the Giants to victory, is what he did! And in this house, Tommy DeVito is a hero, end of shtory!!!

[–] IOVERCALLHISTIOCYTES@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Summa those guys at Seton Hall were 7 feet tall

[–] football2106@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Don’t you wave your hanky at me ☝️

[–] lraven17@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

TOMMY DEVITO INVENTED THE FORWARD PASS AND HE GOT ROBBED! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT!

[–] madurosnstouts@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

“At least you’ll be home fuh Sunday dinnah right”?

……

“I’m a terrible motha, my own son, not gonna be home fuh Sunday dinnah”.

[–] gavgavrkorko@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

This is so fucking accurate that it hurts my sides

[–] gr1mace02@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

No self-respecting North Jersey-ian would call it pork roll. Taylor ham or die

[–] erica_638@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

…did you write for The Sopranos?

[–] Little_Lahey_Show@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Foosball?!?!!

[–] buy_some_winrar@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

*taylor ham

[–] OutfieldOfNightmares@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Cedar Grove is Taylor ham territory

[–] PaddyMayonaise@alien.top 1 points 10 months ago

Your MOM is Taylor Ham territory