this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2024
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Shirts That Go Hard

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 61 points 7 months ago (7 children)

Paw Patrol is a CIA project

Everything on TV is all just a CIA backstop, this is the only possible explanation for how they can afford their HQ, the high tech equipment, the fuel to go all around the world, and not to mention the maintenance costs.

The 6 pups were not 'rescue' dogs, that's a lie that was told to them when their intelligence grew and enabled them to speak English and comprehend us and eventually became a core part of the cover story. Their memories have been altered so that they have no doubt about the cover story. In reality all 6 of them were genetically engineered and grown in a CIA lab in an experiment dubbed "soldier paw" to create "super-dog soldiers", the end goal is to have a dog soldier that is 100% loyal and can easily go into enemy territory and perform secret and dangerous OPs.

"Adventure Bay" is actually a CIA island blacksite created specifically to train, test, and observe the pups, "Ryder" is actually a CIA operative who's task is to be their handler and ensure that there is adequate progress. He knows of every situation well in advance as they are scheduled by the CIA project leader, Mayor Goodway, who began the project when she created an above average intelligent chicken that she now keeps as a pet.

Mayor Goodway and Cap'n Turbot are actually divorced in reality and this is why the Mayor frequently puts him in her planned scenerios hoping that the pups will fail one day and she can get sole custody of their kids.

Everyone else in Adventure Bay are all either CIA operatives or paid actors with NDAs and top secret security clearances.

The Kitten Catastrophe Crew was project soldier paws predecessor, created by CIA scientist known as "Mayor Humdinger", dubbed project soldier pussy. This project however was terminated as they could not solve the problems with cats inherent dickness and inability to be 100% loyal. However it was decided that instead of terminating the kittens and reassigning mayor Humdinger that they would actually serve as an archvillan type of enemy for the paw patrol, they partially know the truth in that they know they are genetic experiments but not much else.

Any "special" pups that appear, such as Everest, only exist temporarily to test specific new genetic traits, the rest of the time they remain in stasis.

At the end of the scenerios the pups collars inject a temporary sleeping agent so that they came be transported to their dog houses which are actually stasis Chambers when not in their vehicle state. This allows the project team to fit an entire day/night cycle into an 8-6 day so that the pups believe a full day has passed when in reality only 10 hours has passed, and also allows the team to go home for the night and be with their families. Occasionally the stasis Chambers fail causing them to 'wake up' and the overnight shift typically only has a one hour warning before failure to call in the main team and any other actor or operative necessary to carry out one of the night contingency scenario while the stasis system is being repaired.

Because of the amount of time that they spend in the Chambers they don't actually age that much, however, at some point when the CIA determines that sufficient progress has been made they will allow the pups to grow to adulthood and transition from "silly" scenerios to more serious and deadly ones.

Ryder and the other CIA "children" operatives are the only ones who stay on site the entire time as they are actually orphans that the CIA drafted for this project. When the pups are in stasis they generally socialize with each other and do typical day to day stuff as they are off the clock.

There were actually 8 pups engineered, 2 were prototypes and engineered too intelligent and learned the whole truth and orchestrated an escape, their plans were narrowly foiled and they were terminated and all memories of them were erased from the other 6. Rubble however, can occasionally access a memory fragment of them in his dream state, but his sleeping unconscious mind twists and corrupts the fragment, Apollo was the 7th pup that appeared in one of his dreams, but because of the corruption and twisting it appears to rubble that he was actually a flying superhero that was not part of the paw patrol.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 24 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Wow you must have a kid that watches that show daily. You put a lot of work into this theory. Never watched it but bet your right.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago

Yea my first did then out grew it then my second grew into it lmao so I've had plenty of material to work with lol

[–] Lev_Astov@lemmy.world 17 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I looked to see where this was copied from... and it's you 6 years ago.

[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

Oh yea, I forgot about the extended cut lmfao

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 8 points 7 months ago

Sir, this is a Wendy's

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Makes perfect sense

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

It's not CIA. Paw Patrol is Canadian. They're the result of a secret CSIS project, much like Wolverine.

[–] owatnext@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

You sure know a lot about this show lmao. I didn't know any of the names or anything. I just know there are dogs in a place and they save people.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Only one of them is a cop though, right? Defund him!

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

At least take away his rockets. Demilitarize the police.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

He only brings a net to the rescue. Or he sends out a spy drone to watch things. He definitely has the least actual use.

[–] AlwaysNowNeverNotMe@kbin.social 6 points 7 months ago

His real operations are never known to the public.

[–] GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml 5 points 7 months ago
[–] username_unavailable@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Winged_Hussar@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Wow, thanks for posting that hahaha.

[–] arandomthought@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 months ago

ACAB? All cats are beautiful?

[–] SPRUNT@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago

All Cats Are Bastards