Sounds like folks have given a good number of alternatives, but I just wanted to share a resource: "Ableism/Language" by Lydia X. Z. Brown. It goes through a bunch of ableist words and suggests alternatives. :)
this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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My biggest take away was:
Ableism is not a list of bad words. Language is one tool of an oppressive system. Being aware of language -- for those of us who have the privilege of being able to change our language -- can help us understand how pervasive ableism is. Ableism is systematic, institutional devaluing of bodies and minds deemed deviant, abnormal, defective, subhuman, less than. Ableism is violence.
So the language itself isn't ableist, technically, according to this, but abilism is when the person using the language thinks of the negative stereotypes associated and uses that to justify some shitty position or action.
So in other words, while lame is acknowledged as a problematic word, it's not inherently abilist to use it, which is not a takeaway I was expecting to get.
Let me know if I misread it, but thank you for posting! It was an informative read!
Hm... I'd actually disagree with that conclusion? I think what the author is saying there is that ableism isn't simply a matter of the words being used. A statement that treats disabled people as subhuman isn't okay because it avoids using these words - it's still ableist.
From the beginning of the article (emphasis mine):
Note that only some of the words on this page are actually slurs. Many of the words and phrases on this page are not generally considered slurs, and in fact, may not actually be hurtful, upsetting, retraumatizing, or offensive to many disabled people. They are simply considered ableist (the way that referring to a woman as emotionally fragile is sexist, but not a slur).
Not everyone has the ability to be mindful of how certain language originated in ableism and this reinforces it. But for those of us who can, it's a good idea to try.
Hmm I wonder if I may have shot past the more straightforward way to parse it.
I'm coming from a stance where "don't do it as soon as you know it's ableist" is voiceless rule, so that significantly colors how I'm interpreting it.
That response was more me being like "oh wow this is essentially saying ignorance is an excuse for using ableist language" (caveats run amok here like "only when there are no known other words" as well as "strictly only when one isn't employing a shitty stereotype when referring to whoever they're referring to")
Admittedly, I can see how that is still a less than desirable takeaway, but all I'm trying to say is I 100% agree with what you've written.
Tldr; thank you for the clarification! Full agree and this is mostly just me trying to figure out where some disconnect is