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the creature washed up on a beach near Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, she said: “[He] ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
You missed the part when she mentioned the "whale juices" spilling into the car when the vehicle stopped.
We might need a different giphy to express further WTF-iness surprise for the subsequent matter of whale blood oozing in through the car windows during the five-hour drive. But I'm not good at picking out memes.
I gotchu
Is Mount Kisco where the NY HIllbillies are?
Grew up right near it and certainly would not label it hillbillies. Lol it's like a rich suburb of NYC.
I wouldn’t say so personally. I grew up a few towns away. It’s a standard issue quiet little suburb. RFK Jr. is just a fuckin lunatic.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that's a fistful of felonies.
Like if you or I had done that, we'd still be in prison
Beheads a whale, ate roadkill, and has a brain worm. True presidential material right here.
Oh, I almost forgot. He was a drug dealer, too!
Dial it back a bit. Many drug dealers are just trying to earn a living and many sell high quality safe products responsibly.
Most drug dealers I know have in fact never carried a whale carcass home.
The parasites in his brain create an irresistible urge to capture and devour more parasites in roadkill. I’m not sure how that translates to a legal defense, but I’m betting he can afford lawyers who can figure it out.
The Prion Defense?
I know the latest thing to call Republicans is weird....but this dude is a whole 'nother level of fucking weird. What the actual fuck.
What have we come to. You can't just behead a whale and drive around with it's head on your car.
It simply isn't done ☝️
In an alternate reality, not too different from ours, this guy is gonna be the next president.
To be fair, I'm not convinced beheading a whale is lots worse than what our ex president is guilty of.
That is fair lol.
That said if we’re talking less about how awful he is, and more about how absurd his awfulness is, then nothing screams “divorced from the reality of normal people” quite like this quote from his own daughter:
He ran down to the beach with a chainsaw, cut off the whale’s head and then bungee-corded it to the roof of the family minivan for the five-hour haul back to Mount Kisco, New York.
Every time we accelerated on the highway, whale juice would pour into the windows of the car, and it was the rankest thing on the planet. We all had plastic bags over our heads with mouth holes cut out, and people on the highway were giving us the finger, but that was just normal day to day stuff for us.
If even a little of this were true….<insert the words I don’t have to describe my feelings here>
The Overton Window is closed.
Well the dude did used to just hang out in a rotting cattle graveyard and do shit tons of acid by himself all the time. This doesn’t sound that far fetched to me.
That would probably be a waste of taxpayer money, if the fed investigation is even a true claim. The whale was already dead, and it happened years ago.
(Edited for clarity)
if it’s even a true claim. The whale was already dead, and it happened years ago.
I love how you claim it's not true after him and his family verified, and then immediately pivot to how even if it did happen it wasn't a big deal
Just speed running the narcissist's prayer two steps at a time....
The whale was dead though.
RFK wanted the whale's head to use the skull as a trophy or something like that.
I don't think OP was trying to defend RFK. Just stating the facts.
And what's to stop people who want whale head trophies from killing a whale by whatever means, claiming it was washed up, and saying their prize?
Sure, out of reach for most people, but not impossible.
These laws aren't arbitrary, even if you can't play the mental chess it takes to arrive at the potential outcome.
I mean it's not like the feds caught him with the whale head on the hood of the family Subaru.
Did he do the thing? Almost assuredly. But where does this all go? Most importantly, this guy isn't qualified to be President. I kinda wish he would have leaned into the Joe rogan carnivore identity to steal a few more from Trump, but this guys cooked. What does opening a case do here?