this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Kid's backpack, kid's lunchbox, and a gun.

The back to school in America special.

[–] Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] thenextguy@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You can't buy Kentucky at Walmart.

[–] Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope you are trying to be slick

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not without the Kentucky he isn't.

[–] Fullyloadedsnowflake@lazysoci.al 1 points 2 months ago

SPIT ON THAT THANG

[–] alester82@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Oh, I thought they sold it by the Florida ounce

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

How to end up on a watchlist:

Pressure cooker, nails, prepaid phone

[–] perviouslyiner@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Casio F-91W watch, soldering iron, electronics wire.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

You're going to hang up balloons and cook a homemade meal for your SO on their birthday, and surprise them with a new phone

[–] programmer_belch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm going with the classic:

Pringles can

Gloves

Sponge

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

Once you pop, the fun don't stop. Shit's getting chafed up in this bitch

[–] BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Carrots Vegetable peeler Lube

[–] spamspeicher@feddit.org 0 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What's a peeler lube? Or is it carrots vegetable?

[–] Faresh@lemmy.ml 0 points 2 months ago

I think the comment is missing some commas. This is what I think it's supposed to be:

Carrots, Vegetable peeler, Lube

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 0 points 2 months ago (2 children)

As a former cashier (grocery store not walmart admittedly, but I doubt things are that different), I dont think weird uses for the items are the way to go, the cashier is barely even going to notice or care what you're buying. what I bring to freak out the cashier, are some item that needs ID to buy, some big heavy item with the barcode removed so that it will take a bunch of lifting and turning in a hopeless effort to find it before someone eventually has to go find another one and bring it over, and a propane refill if walmart does those (at my grocery store the process to go find a full one was a pain, especially in the winter since they were outside). Further, I try to buy these items with the help of a ton of expired and unexpired coupons mixed together, several gift cards, and a stubborn half-deaf old person who wont take no for an answer.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Would it be more or less frustrating if instead of an old person, it's a middle aged person who clearly doesn't understand the language but keeps smiling and nodding as if you're on the same page and any time you try to prompt for information, they encouragingly push their items towards you or try to pay you in a currency you don't recognize?

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 1 points 2 months ago

A bit less, partly because it's easier to be sympathetic to those people, and partly because, in my experience, it can be helped by getting out google translate on one's phone, if one can figure out which language it is

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

How make a cashier consider on the job suicide

[–] zigmus64@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Gatorade

Pregnancy tests

Plan B

[–] Pacattack57@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Even worse:

Gatorade

Pregnancy test

Wire coat hangers