this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Floshie@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Imagine being the robber. I wouldn't even be able to contain myself from laughing

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I would immediately interpret that as "I don't need a knife (to absolutely fuck you up right now)" based on the ~~oblivious~~ completely casual tone and lack of any fear.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Which if you know anything about martial arts is complete bullshit and doesn't exist. If the dude has a knife, there isn't a "badass" alive that survives without huge injury, and death most times. There is a reason the saying "the winner of a knife fight dies in the ambulance" exists.

[–] notabot@lemm.ee 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Which is why you end the fight before it starts. The greentext got lucky but by reacting oddly enough to make the robber pause then leaving they did the right thing.

I've been in a similar situation except I punched the thief before they drew the knike and then left. The fact he was obviously high as a kite probably helped. Ultimately, a knife fight between two sober, focused opponents, who are intending to kill or seriously injure will likely end as you suggested, but it the aggressor isn't actually ready to fight the fight can be avoided, or ends up much less lethal.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

A knife fight between someone who has a knife and someone who doesn't just makes you an easy target. A 12 year old can stab a huge guy to death. Check the marker tests on youtube. A dude wears a white shirt / nothing, the 12 yo has a marker and is told to stab. Even with them not doing the "maniac stab" there is always a cut or stab that kills you. Lots of time tendons are cut which means you couldn't defend yourself. Lots of time someone nicks your liver. Sometimes a stab goes through an artery, through the heart, etc. The fact that your punch worked means you got extremely lucky and the other guy immediately stopped.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What are the videos called? Searching for marker tests just gets me markers, adding "knife" gets me sharpening techniques, and adding "knife fight" just gets me music.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

https://youtu.be/-s7E-PsMJRI?si=tP6HLeRMTtvsw30D try this one. It's called "there is no such thing as a knife fight" by Hein's approach to aikido. Am on mobile so can't find a shorter vid for you.

[–] lenathaw@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Reminds me of a story a friend told me when I was traveling through South America.

My friend was walking home late at night and a guy from another country (forgot which, but it was obvious from his accent) asked him for money. This exchange of course happened in Spanish:

"I have an iron" "what does iron means in your country?" "by iron I mean knife" and pulls out a knife "oh, because here iron means this" and pulls out a gun.

Then the robber just ran away.

[–] GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Not even joking something similar happened to me.

A dude told me he had a gun, he was trying to rob me or something. I just told him that was neat, like "oh cool.. this dude is just into guns or something".

It wasn't till later I realized he was trying to rob me. He just stared at me like I was a moron and walked away...

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 0 points 7 months ago (1 children)

At a bus stop, I was nearly beaten for wearing the wrong color shirt. This fella was told to hit someone wearing red and, in an attempt at easing their conscience, kept trying to find a reason to dislike me. Meanwhile, I’m just confused and apparently befriending him over our shared hatred of Russians and security guards and a mutual love of Islam. Unlike the greentext, my guy had the courtesy to at least apologize and explain the situation. Feels like a fever dream and I do not expect a single human being to ever believe me. There is no punchline, just my continued confusion. I still do not know how to feel about this.

[–] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

I suppose you were the punchline

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 0 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

"from a friend"

"I was getting robbed"

[–] NounsAndWords@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

IDK, do you really think someone would just go on the Internet and make up lies?

[–] dabaldeagul@feddit.nl 1 points 7 months ago

Written from the perspective of said friend? It also says "I don't have any money"