Wouldn't be human if you didn't.
Ask Autistic People
A community for anyone to ask autistic people questions: non-autistic people to learn about the autistic experience and autistic people to get information or validation from their peers.
Instance description for federated visitors
Rules
- Follow instance rules
- Text-posts only
- Questions must be directed at autistic people
- If you are answering a question and are not autistic, please state so in your comment. Otherwise, it is presumed the respondent is autistic.
Keep in mind: Autistic people are a diverse group with diverse experiences and perspectives. Not one represents the entire community.
True.
The best is when you debate choices in your head for days and no matter which choice you make, you regret it.
Oh for sure. I'll hyper focus on something and become obsessed with it. Then when I pull the trigger on it the fear that I've made a poor choice will begin to build. I'm kind of dealing with that with my return to Warhammer 40,000 (40k is the common abbreviation). Sucks because nothing wrong with my choice persay but I also want to do this other stuff instead. Literally debated for about two months before making the choice and still feel like I picked wrong. Oh well -_-
Do you mean regret after the fact, or doing things I know I'll regret but do them anyway?
I do both, embarrassingly.
Right.
I think everyone does. Mostly for me, they're a bit cringe/embarrassing or I feel bad for hurting someone else. I've been told about self-forgiveness, but it doesn't make sense to me. Like, what is that? I stand in front of the mirror and say, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, meant for it to turn out like that, or I let my emotions make a bad decision. Thanks, I forgive you. You're welcome, and thank you too. You're welcome."
If I'm embarrassed, the best thing that works for me is to imagine me seeing someone else doing what I did. Then, I usually just laugh because I find it funny when people do silly things. I wish more people would be silly. I think everyone's too serious.
If I hurt someone, there's a process:
- Acknowledge it and ask them how they were affected. (Shows you are aware that you are responsible)
- Tell them their feelings make sense. (Let's them know that you understand them)
- Explain why you did it. (They want to know why you hurt them because they are confused by it since they didn't expect it)
- Then say, "I'm sorry." (Says you regret what you did)
- Explain what you will do to prevent that from happening again and ask if there is something you can do to make up for it. If they say no, then if something comes up in the near future that is relevant and would seemingly make up for it, take the opportunity to offer it anyway. (Helps them feel safe and that you will rebuild the damage)
Example:
- Yep, I ate the Crunch chocolate bar you left in the work fridge, and you were disappointed when you went to grab it as a snack.
- How did it affect you?...It makes sense you were upset the entire afternoon if you skipped lunch to eat the Crunch as a snack. I would be upset and confused, especially since you never take anyone else's snacks.
- The reason I did it was because since I had seen it in there for a week, I thought it was left behind and no one wanted it. I didn't think anyone was going to eat it.
- I'm sorry I ate your Crunch.
- From here on, if I want to take anything from the fridge that isn't mine, I will always makes sure I ask everyone in the office first. How does that sound?
5a. I am on break at 11. I can go to 7-11 to get you one if you'd like?
5b. bring in 5 Crunch bars and place them on their lunch bag