this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Because I don’t, and pretending to feels dishonest. I’ll listen if they want to talk about it, but I’m not going to act interested, and I certainly won’t ask about it on my own. What I’m trying to figure out is whether people actually care, or if they’re just playing a social game that I’m simply not interested in.

I’m probably on the autistic spectrum, which likely explains this to some extent. But that’s not an excuse - being an asshole is perfectly compatible with autism, so before dunking on me, please realise I probably agree with your criticism.

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[–] PlzGivHugs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

I definately care some, although not enough that I want to sit through a photo slideshow or that. That said, if its just daily photos to a family group chat, or listening to them talk about a particular trip highlight, then I certainly enjoy it.

[–] bear@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 months ago

Depends on the friend. Some really do care and others are being polite and we may not always know the difference. Attitudes can change as well.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 2 points 2 months ago

Depends a lot on the details and execution.

Some friends can tell a good story about having a beer anywhere. Other folks would make meeting (some well liked celebrity) tedious.

I'm a little too deep into the "I had an onion on my belt" side of things, so I try to be patient with other people's meanderings.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 months ago

Babies and children, no. I mainly care if those kids are sick as children being sick affect the well-being of who I'm talking to.

I like to discuss vacations and I'll usually ask more in depth questions about travel since I like to travel.

That said, there is usually something beneficial to social cohesion where you care enough about people that you more than just name and role. I've found that it is generally a lot more miserable to work in an environment where everyone is a cog in a machine.

[–] jaggedrobotpubes@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

That culture-wide, near impossible to appeal level of stuff you must care about or be an asshole is just the worst. You really lose something critical when you pretend, and everybody seems to be in a conspiracy to bust your hump if you don't play along.

[–] Mango@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I AM nice, so I generally hope the people around me are having a good time, but that's not really much to think about so I'm generally thinking about anything else.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 1 points 2 months ago

I generally don't really care but am happy for them. I very much care about them getting new dogs, though. Send me all the dog stuff.

[–] scarabic@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Trust me, parents know that not everyone cares about babies. But those who do sometimes care a LOT. My parents live hundreds of miles away from their grandchildren and love to see even small updates about them. Same with many cousins, aunties, and faraway friends. I don’t need you to be interested. I understand if you are not. What I don’t understand is why we can’t just coexist on this. Every so often I need to listen to a post like this declaring how much you don’t care about babies and kids. Does this make you feel better or something? Everyone was a baby once. Everyone had a parent. Can we just allow that this is a normal part of life and not some bizarre niche interest that’s getting shoved in your face out of the blue? Damn. /rant

[–] NastyNative@mander.xyz 1 points 2 months ago

Im generally happy when good things happen to my friends. What you learn in the long run is to keep those things to your self. When we go on vacation only my close family knows. Any big steps in life are better taken alone and then celebrated after.

[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

I care about my friends’ babies, but that’s mostly because I get to interact with them. The rest is mostly just politeness.

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It gets easier to ask relevant questions when you have some experience in those things.

Regarding vacations, I like to ask about the nature of sights in the area. I'm not interested in what food was in the buffet or how many pools were at the hotel, but I would like to know if the area has anything of interest.

For people having babies, I like to ask questions about how they're going to handle it, just to check if they are on top of the situation or if they need help with anything.

[–] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 0 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yeah, but this is what troubles me. It’s not that I don’t know what’s expected of me in these situations - I know how to play the game. I’m just not interested in it.

I do try to think about whether there’s anything even remotely interesting about what’s happened to them, and if so, I’ll ask about that. But in many cases, there’s not. Unless their vacation was to a place like North Korea, the most interesting part to me is what kind of plane they flew on and whether they found the baggage carousel mesmerizing.

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[–] hddsx@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 months ago
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