this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2023
568 points (96.3% liked)

Autism

6862 readers
100 users here now

A community for respectful discussion and memes related to autism acceptance. All neurotypes are welcome.

We have created our own instance! Visit Autism Place the following community for more info.

Community:

Values

  • Acceptance
  • Openness
  • Understanding
  • Equality
  • Reciprocity
  • Mutuality
  • Love

Rules

  1. No abusive, derogatory, or offensive post/comments e.g: racism, sexism, religious hatred, homophobia, gatekeeping, trolling.
  2. Posts must be related to autism, off-topic discussions happen in the matrix chat.
  3. Your posts must include a text body. It doesn't have to be long, it just needs to be descriptive.
  4. Do not request donations.
  5. Be respectful in discussions.
  6. Do not post misinformation.
  7. Mark NSFW content accordingly.
  8. Do not promote Autism Speaks.
  9. General Lemmy World rules.

Encouraged

  1. Open acceptance of all autism levels as a respectable neurotype.
  2. Funny memes.
  3. Respectful venting.
  4. Describe posts of pictures/memes using text in the body for our visually impaired users.
  5. Welcoming and accepting attitudes.
  6. Questions regarding autism.
  7. Questions on confusing situations.
  8. Seeking and sharing support.
  9. Engagement in our community's values.
  10. Expressing a difference of opinion without directly insulting another user.
  11. Please report questionable posts and let the mods deal with it. Chat Room
  • We have a chat room! Want to engage in dialogue? Come join us at the community's Matrix Chat.

.

Helpful Resources

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
all 36 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] huginn@feddit.it 78 points 1 year ago (4 children)

ADHD isn't functioning in chaos. It's causing chaos while functioning.

Big difference.

If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

It's a lot easier to manage stimulation when you have things tidy. It's just extra effort to get there.

[–] kubica@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago (4 children)

But then how do I remember the things I need to do if they are not all over the place? (I don't even know if I'm joking)

[–] JoMiran@lemmy.ml 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"Out of sight, out of mind" is often said as a good thing, but for people like me, it's chaos. I love it when desk, desktop and inbox are tidy because that means that I have nothing to do or worry about.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

My life is a never ending whirlwind of fast forward because of this, leaving so much unfinished behind

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago

I would love to hear more of this wonderful fairy tale...

[–] huginn@feddit.it 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I have 2 categories of things:

Resources and Reminders.

Resources are always put away. When I'm working on a project my mind can easily recall where a resource is. I can then track it down. Things like specific bolts, old Ethernet plugs etc all get packed up out of the way.

Reminders can never be hidden. Things like my keys and wallet are easy examples, but reminders also include that book I want to read next or that coding project I wanted to work on. Reminders are always front and center on my desktop, they're right by the door (sometimes on hangers attached to the door in the case of wedding rings) and I don't forget them because they're obvious.

So things you need to do? Reminder category. Set calendar events for the things that need temporal reminders, or have to be put away.

Resources? Keep them out of sight.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] huginn@feddit.it 2 points 1 year ago

My system may not work for you: make changes and make it yours.

But as a kid with raging ADHD diagnosed at 8 and never been medicated: this is how I function, and it works well.

It drives me nuts when I visit my mother's house (also raging ADHD) because it's chaos everywhere.

[–] agent_flounder@lemmy.one 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I know that you think you might be but I also suspect you aren't.

"How can I find anything in all this order?!?"

[–] painfulasterisk@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

That's exactly me. I have an organized mess!

[–] sock@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

my room is "clean" but my personal adhd clean where i put something somewhere because im a genius thatll remember it and then i look where it should be and its not there and im like well shit i guess its gone until i stumble upon it right where i needed it.

not until after i spend 30 minutes looking not where i needed it.

sometimes i completely clean my space and then ill stop thinking about it and kinda go about my day and suddenly 4 different unrelated activities are on my desk.

i just watched memento for a class and i kinda feel like the guy in memento except to a much much lesser degree

[–] huginn@feddit.it 2 points 1 year ago

When it comes to resources if I look somewhere and don't find it then I'll be sure to place it where I first looked on cleanup.

It usually amounts to a chaotic system with only a marginal amount of sorting but it's all out of sight most importantly.

The visual noise of things everywhere is maddening.

[–] li10@feddit.uk 2 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I find it’s much easier to keep everything immaculate than it is to make my place kinda tidy.

I find that if there’s one object on the side that needs to be put away, it might as well be eight objects. So I’m either in a mindset where I put every single item away or none.

[–] SirQuackTheDuck@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you have ADHD you should make special efforts to keep your place cleaner than average, at least in my experience.

Sorry, but no. If my place is tidy I'll manage to trash it before making breakfast. If it's not that tidy it'll stay that's way.

I thrive in chaos. Too controlled and I'll start intentionally wreck shit just for a hint of dopamine, too chaotic and I'll start organising things (again, dopamine).

[–] huginn@feddit.it 3 points 1 year ago

In 33 years that's what functions best for me and the other ADHDers I know.

But it's far more of a spectrum disease than people think and there are a ton of flavors to ADHD.

Ymmv.

[–] Endorkend@kbin.social 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Not all autistics function well with order.

They function well when the baseline world around them maintains predictability.

But contrary to others on the spectrum, they do really badly with rigid schedules and rules to follow.

I am one of those.

When busses don't ride on time, I'm anxious, even if I don't take the bus.

But for the love of God don't force me into any sort of schedule because it'll run me of the rails.

If things are orderly then they're predictable.

[–] TimLovesTech@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

I LOVE other things on a schedule, me on a schedule is a day ruining mental drain that gets me all spun out.

[–] Norgur@kbin.social 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

I love how at the time if me answering there are exactly two replies one telling OP that their statement about ADHD is inaccurate and one telling OP that their statement about autism is inaccurate.

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Canned psychologist answer to any absolute statement about ADHD or ASD: "it depends" and "sometimes but not always".

[–] Endorkend@kbin.social 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No.

The problem is that the more obvious autists are those who everyone bases their knowledge on while the less obvious ones, that are like me do not in any way have the same needs.

This stereotype is what makes life shit for people like me. Because people make assumptions about them that are directly opposed to what their actual needs are.

And I'd say that most autistics that function on a level where they can live on their own, get married and work are more like me than the classic view of autism.

As the classic view of autism is expressly based on the easily detectable cases that can't even take care of themselves.

[–] HardlightCereal@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

We gotta tell people that Fred Jones from Mystery Incorporated is autistic. He's the perfect representation.

[–] eestileib@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Almost like they're diagnoses of exclusion in more than a few cases...

[–] SeeMinusMinus@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

I would do the same tbh

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 11 points 1 year ago

It kinda balances out enough that I went 36 years without knowing or suspecting anything was truly wrong with me. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Cries in AuDHD and working in the food industry

[–] potoo22@programming.dev 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Having both, idk, it's like I have to expect chaos to be okay with it. Like, I take my ADHD spouse on a date and I expect they'll want to spontaneously go places, and I'll be okay with that. If I'm driving home on a routine grocery run and they suddenly call and want takeout... I have to calm myself.

[–] Bonesince1997@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

At the very least, rolling with it or especially having someone roll with what you have to throw at them/the world has to be somewhat rewarding.

[–] Scrof@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine functioning... lol

[–] LittleTrollInAHut@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

It’s a pipe dream isn’t it? SOMEDAY…

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Oh hey I'm in this one!

[–] 30mag@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

I function some of the time.

[–] Globeparasite@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago
[–] Saltblue@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

"chaos is order yet undeciphered"