this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 8 points 2 hours ago

I just recently realized I had a coworker flirting with me... 2 years after leaving that job.

Last time some one flirted with me it took me ~5 years to notice. That's a big improvement. I don't expect a 3rd data point though...

[–] EldenLord@lemmy.world 20 points 4 hours ago

This is so clearly fake and gay, bait used to be believable.

[–] Frog@lemmy.ca 45 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Be femanon
Talking to nice, attractive guy
Invite him to my house, parents aren't home
Guy makes every excuse to not come over
What is wrong with me?

[–] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 59 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

She needed help with her physics class assignments, Anon dodged a bullet.

[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 41 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

The bullet weighs 10 grams and has a velocity of 330 m/s. It hits Anon in his 5 kg head and, because it's a rubber bullet, bounces off elastically. How fast is Anon's head moving after the collision?

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 17 points 10 hours ago (1 children)
[–] LostXOR@fedia.io 27 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Not quite, remember it's an elastic collision.

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 hours ago

Ah, 1.317 m/s then.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 24 points 10 hours ago

If you cut off the last two or three lines, you can see this as a screenplay for an extremely gruff, overworked guy who is intentionally dismissive.

If you cast the guy as more attractive than the girl, then the rest of the scene plays out with anon as a chad who just does not care.

If he maybe cares, he can further 'chad' by looking at his watch, saying "Well, if you need help looking for em, I'll be here tomorrow" and then him leaving.