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I have a different nickname for my wife when I want her to come to me. So it's just so easy I just have to shout and she'll show up in a matter of seconds. But if call her by regular name, she'll just reply asking. WHAAAT?
Also I think you're bothered because "come here" is just so basic, feels like an order, we see ourselves as something being told to dogs. Just two more words can change the tone a lot "can you come here?"
I have a similar issue with a co-worker that I trained under for a while: when he wanted to show me how to do a thing, he wouldn't tell me what he was instructing me on, he would just start walking me through steps so that he could reveal what was finished at the end.
I ended up having a blow up where I told him to tell me what I was doing before I started doing it, and that he isn't a fucking magician.
Editted to add: I started calling him Houdini for a while, which is what made him stop
tell him to stop issueing the command of "come here," and instead offer up alternatives.
"Hey, you got a second to see this?"
"Honey, you gotta check this out!"
"Honey, drop everything you're doing and run to me"
"Hey babe, come experience this crazy thing with me!"
I guess it bothers you as it's a command, not a request. I'm not to responsive to commands as well. My wife doesn't give them, but states a situation, usually expecting I drop everything and respond. (almost as bad)
As someone already reacted, in the car I get a 'look' as well, but th's usually because she sees an old car. (When busy with traffic, I miss it, but we have some nice spots)
Some consideration from your partner is appreciated though, but that requires telling what is wrong as well. Without communication the problem only escalates. (Which usually doesn't bode well for relationships)
My mother is like this as well, when I was little she used to only say "come here!", and if I wasn't showing up right next to her she wouldn't say what she wanted to say, she would just stay silent. Sometimes it was only to let me know it was someone's birthday.
She even says it unconsciously now. She lives in Venezuela, I live in Brazil now, and during calls she still says "come here" and every time I tell her "Now how am I gonna go there right now? Are you paying for the plane tickets?"
It's not just you, you're not mental, it's fucking frustrating and at some point in my life I just decided not to react to her "come here" and keep quiet until she tells me what she wants, otherwise I'm not interested.
Because “come here” is a command, and when a pattern emerges over the lifetime of a relationship it is disrespectful to you. Are you a dog?
Follow up question, have you had a discussion with him about this? Have you two attempted to approach and solve this problem as a team already?
it’s more to do with their inability to use words to describe what they are seeing. Lack of ability to communicate. And yes, it can be very exhausting. You just reminded me of one relationship I’m actually very very relieved it ended because he was very much a draining human being.
I think you alone might need some counseling. Because that is not healthy. Just enjoy the fact that your partner invests time, thought and energy in you by showing you stuff.
There is nothing unhealthy about being annoyed when someone forces you to always come to them no matter what it is about again and again and again, instead of at least sometimes actively coming to you when they want to interact.
Why
Because you're not the property of a huge baby
You hate it precisely because of how you described it. It's a game where you often end up paying a price, where the reveal is more often a punishment, not a reward. You've sensibly learned to dread it.
His half of the game is that always gets is to see your reaction in the moment. If it's something bad, he gets a big reaction out of you. It's always a payout for him. Not for you.
I hate it, too. It's like someone ordering a circus animal to perform.
I also hate it when I get vague open-ended texts like "favor?".
I'm not even sure what that text is asking of you lmao
Do they want a favor from you or do they want to make you a favor?
your post has just illustrated to me how blissfully uncommon it is that anyone ever tells me to "come here".
I can't tell you the last time someone said it. I'm sure it's not super long ago but I don't remember a specific circumstance.
There have been differently phrased instances, though:
"hey, can you have a look at this for me please?"
or
"i'd like to show you something"
or
"i need your help with something"
or
"i want to go over something with you when you get a chance" while implying by nodding toward the hallway out of earshot from the others in the office
etc.
...
jordan howlett does it on his youtube shorts though i guess? but that's not to ME, that's to the whole audience. and he zooms in with his phone camera. freaking love that guy.
What does he do if you stay where you're at and ask what he wants you for?
My husband does this too, and when I ask “What’s up?” he coyly replies “You’ll see!” Argh!
You're not alone, tho I usually don't deal with that. when someone tries that on me, unless it's in a situation where they literally can't move from that spot, I go "Ok, cool. YOU come here, then." Why? Simple: you wanna show me something. when I need you for something, then I'll walk my ass over to you and ask/show you what i need. Pretty reasonable ask to give me the same courtesy back, i think. Only one that's exempt from that is my ma, everyone else is gonna get a variation of the above.