this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2025
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Leopards Ate My Face

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[–] longjohnjohnson@lemmy.ml 117 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

God, the Zelensky one gets me.

He's not begging for money you ignorant, narcissistic, walking dunning-kruger, fascist supporting asshole.

He's literally fighting a war against an enemy of America since the 1950s that invaded his country and he's asking for help so his countrymen and women don't die or get oppressed by Russian annexation.

He's on the front lines, we should be thanking him you dumb cunt.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 74 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Help promised by the USA for giving away their nukes.

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And Russia. And the UK, I believe?

[–] CmdrShepard42@lemm.ee 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yes, if any one of them invaded, the others would come to their defense provided they give up their nukes which they did. It turns out that was a huge mistake because nobody has any integrity.

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[–] reseller_pledge609@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)

That was a Babylon Bee link. Right-wing version of The Onion.

[–] longjohnjohnson@lemmy.ml 35 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I should have been clearer, apologies. I understand the article is fake, I just hate that she finds this even remotely funny or felt the need to share in any way.

Fair. Just thought I'd clarify in case someone missed that.

[–] prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works 54 points 4 days ago (1 children)

thanks for the info I’m uneducated, seriously uneducated

Huh.

[–] noride@lemm.ee 24 points 4 days ago

He is self-aware at least, I'll give 'em that.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 122 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wanted to try the Herman Cain Award style post of a Trump faithful realizing their face has been eaten. This Trumpette retired recently, doesn't know much about how the stock market works, but is seeing her retirement funds go up in smoke. Helpfully, a fellow MAGAt advised her just to buy the dip. Not sure what money she's supposed to do that with...

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 73 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This was a GLORIOUS format! I missed the Herman Cain award mini stories and this was a breath of stank air.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 59 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Not gonna lie, I used to binge the Herman Cain Awards like I was huffing paint.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 104 points 4 days ago (2 children)

"We have officially been unburden"

This lady word good!

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 73 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Unburdened of her life's savings, apparently.

[–] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 22 points 4 days ago

Must be. Because she was clearly unburdened of common sense and objectivity a long time ago.

[–] wirebeads@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 days ago (2 children)

She can enjoy a nice cup of American grown non tariffed Covfefe.

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

Why say lot word when few do trick

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 68 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (6 children)

So uh... I had to look up the term 'CJ Degree.'

... Criminal Justice.

As in... learn 'industry practices' to be qualified as a corrections officer (jail/prison guard), private detective, cop, paralegal, etc.

The first thing that came up was a particular college's course overview and goals checklist... one of the goals was ...

Attend a financial literacy workshop.

So not only is this person a moron, not only is this person in all likelihood a prison guard, not only did they go to college to become a prison guard, they shouldn't have even graduated with their degree.

As a person from a white trash neighborhood, who got real degrees, first in the family to go to college... I have not gotten white trash vibes this strong in quite a long time.

[–] LilB0kChoy@lemm.ee 15 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Unfortunately there’s a lot of criminal justice jobs that only require a two year technical degree. Depending on location and school it’s likely that it was “check the boxes” kind of program for a field that is understaffed.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 11 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ah, the prison-industrial-degree mill complex.

Love it.

Fucks over everyone, in so many ways.

... A good portion of the families I grew up next to just actually had half of their family as criminals, in prison, usually for consistent DUIs or drug charges and domestic abuae...

... and the other half were prison/jail guards/staff.

Thats what I mean by 'white trash.'

People that unironically described themselves as 'wiggers' back in the 00s.

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[–] BigMacHole@lemm.ee 83 points 4 days ago (8 children)

STOP being Mean to this WOMAN! She CLEARLY was Taken in by Trump's Promises! She thought ONLY TRANS KIDS would be effected! And BROWN PEOPLE! She had No Idea WHITE PEOPLE would ALSO be effected! Cut her some SLACK!

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (3 children)
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[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 days ago

May she sell at the bottom and buy back after the recovery.

[–] Litebit@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Pure karma lol.

Maybe she need to stop her dumb whining woke and socialist (pension) crap. We live in capitalism, it is just business. You have been unburden by pension.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 46 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Just put your money into stocks! Buying 10 shares of Apple right now would cost $2,000 but once it bounces back to the price it was at before the dip you'd have $2,500! That's a profit of $500 in just a few years!

[–] mosiacmango@lemm.ee 26 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around, which generally are already rich fucks.

It also assumes this is the bottom. That $2000 could become $1000 and it may take years and years and years to get to $2500 instead.

There is no indication this is the bottom.

[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 days ago

That's actually a pretty good return, but only helps people with cash lying around.

Exactly. A 25% return is amazing, but turning $1 into $1.25 isn't really that impressive. Turning $1,000,000 into $1,250,000 is. The two returns are the same but one made 25 cents and the other made 3x the yearly median income of a US citizen. "Buying the dip" only makes a difference if you're already filthy rich.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 10 points 4 days ago

Exactly. All the morons planning on buying the 'dip' before EU nations even announce their response to these tariffs are about to hurt themselves in confusion

[–] TransplantedSconie@lemm.ee 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Ron Howard voice:

It was not the bottom. In fact the bottom would not be discovered until the food riots of 2026.

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[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 4 days ago

the whole right wing outrage over mayor wu giving condolences to the family of the attacker is wild when you realize that she was doing that because first responders killed him without any other casualties or injuries to victims.

[–] Tempus_Fugit@midwest.social 31 points 4 days ago (2 children)

🤣 those last few are priceless. I hope she liquidates all her shit and buys up. Us pleebs haven't even begun to feel the pressures this likely recession is going to bring on. The market has only just started to react.., is what I would say if my tin foil hat hadn't just fallen upon my dome... These fuckers are purposely crashing the market temporarily to get rich quick... I hate all of it... These grifters are the worst.

[–] longjohnjohnson@lemmy.ml 42 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

This isn't a temporary crash. This is upending trade policies that took 75+ years to establish and work out. Using the post WW2 reconstruction of global currency that we practically dictated to the world. We put ourselves in a position of unparalleled power in the new world economy by convincing everyone in the world that we were a stable and trustworthy government who wouldn't ever betray them.

You can't bring that back by just "dropping" tariffs.

There's a literal boycott on US goods right now across the world. Nobody's buying our shit, and I don't blame them.

We're intentionally fucking up the global economy, for absolutely no fucking reason, other than this dementia addled dipshit thinks trade is bad and tariffs are good.

That's literally the closest thing to saying the earth is flat, from an economists standpoint.

This is going to take DECADES to recover from. If the market is lucky.

We just shot ourselves in the foot with a Russian donated AK-47 on full auto and didn't let off the trigger until both of our feet were just shredded piles of bone and meat, and the ricochets also caught all of our friends standing next to us in their feet as well. Not as badly as we shot ourselves, but more than they were expecting I suspect.

[–] sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip 13 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Yep. Unlike this ... person ... I got a degree in economics.

This is Great Depression 2.0.

We are fucked for 20 years, and thats the optimistic outcome, assuming we don't thermonuclearly obliterate ourselves, and not factoring in how even without this entirely avoidable tariff disaster, the intensification of disasters and other stresses from the deteriorating climate was already indicating basically the collapse of industrialized society by about 2050.

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[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I like how she's retired and her fellow Trumpers are telling her to buy the dip. Guess she should sell her house so she can buy more stocks? I'm sure that'll work out.

[–] Burninator05@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

Wait a minute. Are you telling me that you don't have a couple million in liquid assets that you can use to buy stocks right now?

[–] leadore@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

~~Dry~~ Don't cry, clown lady. Your retirement savings may be gone, but at least prices will skyrocket.

edit: dry cry? what happened, brain?

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago

Better broke than woke **tm

/s

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 30 points 4 days ago

'seriously uneducated'.....

has degree in criminal justice.

was it the only program they could get accepted into?

[–] samuelazers@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Most of boomers will have their 401k (unknowingly) invested into the stock market by their employers.

If they didn't have the independance of mind to recognize shit was going down because of the prez, then it could take their retirement years to recover.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Most of boomers will have their 401k (unknowingly) invested into the stock market by their employers

That's not what a 401(k) is. A 401(k) is just a regular investment account that has special rules around taxes because it's meant to be cashed out when you retire. Everything in a 401(k) is in the stock market (though it can include bonds, mutual funds, etc. too), and none of it is managed by the employer. The employer just makes contributions that the employee decides how to manage.

It's entirely possible that people don't understand their 401(k)s, and that the employer went with a full service broker that manages the 401(k)s on behalf of the employees. But, it's not possible for the employer to invest 401(k)s into the stock market because the employer simply makes cash contributions and then it's hands off.

Pensions are different. Pensions are things where the company agrees to pay the employee a certain amount when they retire. In that case the employer is definitely investing in the stock market -- although, in this case, they almost certainly hire a company to manage it for them.

[–] PersnickityPenguin@lemm.ee 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's not entirely true. Your employer chooses the financial investment platform and a few select equities that you can invest in. I get like 12 options, including a money market and a few ETFs. I'm also subject to very high maintenance fees.

So, YMMV. Larger firms will often have better investing options for their employees.

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[–] Elkot@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago
[–] saddlebag@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

Should have been biting your tongue when you chose to vote for Trump. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 10 points 4 days ago

There's so much wrong with this. I'm sure that whomever this is will be in for a rough go over the next few years.

[–] Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

I think they are being programmed to blow all their money on the market they know fuck all about. My mom is a dumb ass always going on about thinking she knows anything about investing and always saying stuff that’s just vastly wrong and watches all that magat bullshit all the time

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Lol, stupid cunt.

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