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Vanilla is NOT a boring flavour. It is the best flavour and most versatile flavour!!!!!! Describing things as vanilla should not be synonymous with boring and I'll fight anyone who argues otherwise

Artificial sweeteners is one of the reasons I'm not obese. You can quote me all the studies you want, diet coke is not a gateway drink to regular coke, and splenda on my black coffee doesn't make me crave a caramel macchiato.

If you throw cigarette butts on the ground you're probably shittier than average person in many other ways too

The ability to spell well has nothing, or very little, to do with intelligence.

Phones are for talking, navigating, and casual content consumption. Desktops (and laptops) are for actually getting things done. Both are useful, but the former is not a substitute for the latter.

Tablets are oversized phones that can't even phone. I don't see any use for them that isn't better served by something else. They'd actually be useful if they ran a desktop operating system, and some early ones did, but modern ones don't.

Subscription services are not worth it, period. Phone and internet bills are all you need to get everything you want at the best possible qualities in the best possible formats. Subscription services are only convenient for the lazy who don't know how to use the internet.

Pugs are not "so cute" because they're ugly. They are deformed from countless generations of in-breeding and genetic manipulation by horrible horrible humans and are in constant pain, cannot breathe, and have countless other physical ailments. They should not exist in their current form and it makes me sad for the animal whenever I see one, and immediately lose all respect for the owner for furthering such a travesty.

If someone uses the phrase “assless chaps” I will not rest until they admit that if chaps had an ass, they would be pants.

Fight me.

Microtransactions are not acceptable in full retail single player games. I don't care if it's only cosmetics. If i pay 60 bucks for it, i better get the whole damn thing. Looking at you, Diablo 4.

Eating fried chicken sandwich for breakfast is completely normal and an awesome way to start a day.

Unless it's boiled before they bake it, it's not a fucking bagel, it's doughnut-shaped bread. Bagels also do not contain blueberries, and any suggestion to the contrary should be met with a swift ass whooping.

I know it has a long history of not being used literally, but I think literally should only be used to mean literally.

Microsoft Word is a bad piece of software that is poorly designed, laughably unoptimized, and mostly dysfunctional. It's like a passenger car with seven wheels arranged in an irregular septagon, a 1 gallon gas tank, and a kitchen stool for a seat.

Also hype clothes are a tremendous waste and reveal the hollowness and meaninglessness that underlies most fashion

Large Language Models and other affiliated algorithms are not AI and no amount of marketing will convince me otherwise. As a result I refuse to call them AI when talking to people about them.

Sarcasm and irony are not the same thing dammit! A limp, unfunny imitation is not a "parody"! I SHOULD NOT HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS, INTERNET!!!

This is more of a meta thing, but relevant to a lot of comments I'm seeing here. Having an opinion about pineapple on pizza is the most uninteresting cultural phenomenon. I've spent the last 4 years on dating apps, and at least 1 in 3 people write in their bio about this "issue". It's not something that people truly have strong feelings about, it's like straight men saying Ryan Reynolds is attractive, or people arguing over the definition of a sandwich. It's an opinion that people hold as a proxy for being somebody with strong opinions.

A Chihuahua is not a legitimate dog, it's a rat with delusions of grandeur.

Those big SUV like Ford f150 should be illegal, for real. They are super long and tall, the driver can barely see what's right in front, it's dangerous for everyone not in the car. Cars should have stricter limits on size, if it's bigger, you need a special license.

A grilled cheese is only a grilled cheese if the most singificant portion of the ingredients between the bread is cheese. Otherwise, it is a grilled X with cheese.

There are three drinks you can call a martini:

• A martini is gin and vermouth, maybe with some bitters if you like
• A vodka martini is vodka and vermouth, bitters again optional
• A vesper martini is gin, vodka, and lillet blanc
• Any of the above can be made "dirty" with olive brine if you want

Anything else is a cocktail in a martini glass. No shade if you like apple schnapps, lemon juice, and vodka, drink what you like, but it's not a martini.

The Oxford comma is an absolute requirement unless you prefer to be intentionally vague.