this post was submitted on 20 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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>Get BJ on prom night 
>Week later massive red spot on cock
>Herpes
>Fuck
>doctor say this shit is
uncurable
>No woman will want me
>Struggle with shame and depression
>Lose all interest in sex
>Go years without being with a woman
>Finally regain some self confidence
>Brainwave.exe
>Need woman who already has the disease
>Find old hooker on craigslist
>Looks pretty ragged on the blurred photo
>Has probably had a million diseased cocks in her
>Call her up
>Explain I have herpes
>Tell her I presume she has it too
>Silence
>Then she hangs up

I dont know where to go from here bros
(page 2) 28 comments
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[–] superkret@feddit.org 228 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Be careful with those greentexts.
Now that the source has run out, they're irreplaceable artifacts.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 129 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I'm rationing my greentexts. I only read one line a day

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 88 points 1 week ago (4 children)

It’s fine, I can easily search 8chan and find greentexts an order of magnitude more deranged. This isn’t even the tip of the iceberg, thankfully/unfortunately

[–] superkret@feddit.org 71 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Mim@lemmy.zip 32 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Back in the day I thought that of /b/.
Those were simpler times. A more… civilized age.

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[–] errer@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I’m surprised it’s still down (just checked)

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[–] Opisek@lemmy.world 73 points 1 week ago (15 children)

Literally ⅔ of all humanity has at least one type of HSV. It is not the end of the world.

[–] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works -4 points 6 days ago

That's like saying blood out of your ass happens to everyone when most cases are just hemorrhoids and some are cancer.

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 19 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Where can I find more info on this? You've peaked my curiosity and I want to learn more about HSV and how it works.

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago (9 children)

The important and nastiest part of HSV is some strains cause cervical cancer in women, so men with HSV must take care not to spread something that has the potential to kill their partner. There is a vaccine, but it doesn't work 100%.

[–] ChonkyOwlbear@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Also throat cancer in men.

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[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 26 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It works by making fucking ugly sore blisters on/around my mouth a couple times a year. they dry out and crust off after a week or so and i get on with my life.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 15 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Huh, either I dont know I have it or I got lucky. Thats crazy. I imagine an STD test would pick up HSV-2 but I wonder if it also picks up the oral variant. Ive never actually noticed any symptoms on myself. This is actually crazy though I didnt know this, I feel like more people should. TIL lol

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[–] Rivalarrival@lemmy.today 65 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Anon, who'd you get the BJ from? They can't give it to you again...

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 72 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a common misconception and the leading cause of Turbo herpes outbreaks.

Stay safe kids

[–] rirus@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)
[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 29 points 1 week ago

Um, it happened to a friend of mine

[–] Acinonyx@lemmy.sdf.org 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

it's the same with turbo aids and turbo autism

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

Source? The same cock they sucked the first time, obviously

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[–] lowleekun@ani.social 53 points 1 week ago

Fake: Anon getting a blowjob Gay: Anon pretending to have a disease as explanation of never touching a women

[–] rirus@feddit.org 15 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Do you ask a woman before kissing here if she has any diseases?

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

I ask to inspect her anus with a flashlight. Halogen preferred.

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[–] rirus@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago

Also there are different Herpes strains.

[–] Geetnerd@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Where does GT go? Outside, and stop being a pussy, making up bullshit on the internet.

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