any fucking thing with touchscreens or touch buttons. those stupid things barely ever work and imagine not being able to use your appliance once that shit breaks.
this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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WE WANT BUTTONS
It registers when my thumb brushes against the screen for a nanosecond but when I want it to register a press I have to tap the screen like a maniac.
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My oven is a piece of shit that has unreliable temperature control and manages to have hot spots even with the fan on. I bought it new and I don't think it will die any time soon. Joke is I paid a lot more than for my previous oven and it's the worst piece of shit I've ever had, a miniature countertop oven I had way back that was old as balls gave more consistent results.
Dishwashers
Modern ones have too many features that can break and brick the whole thing and the cheap ones never get good powerful pumps so they spray like shit. Just make a basic mechanical timed dishwasher with a super powerful pump and I will be all in.
What features do dishwashers have?
Literally every one I’ve used has had racks, two to three spiny water sprayers, a water intake, and a detergent basket.
I’m not disagreeing with the overall sentiment, the “modes” of a dishwasher are dumb as shit. No I don’t want reduced water flow, reduced temperatures, and a worse outcome requiring manual intervention.
But what is there to break? Suck water in, pump it out, spray it at dishes.
maybe there’s the occasional weird model, like Samsungs wall sprayer. But you can’t buy them any more.
This is what I want for the vast majority of appliances. It just needs to do the basic functions reliably and have a few adjustments that I can fiddle with.
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Printers
Danalock smart locks. They are garbage locks by a garbage company and everything surrounding it is pure trash.
If it needs an app or internet connectivity - it can go fuck itself.
We've gone nearly a century of appliances that didn't need this shit. Apps or the Internet itself will not and never will, make things easier to do tasks than they already were easier to do before.
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I'm about to smash my goddamn phone. i can buy the best phone with all of my money and it still sucks ass
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I encountered a gas stove that wouldn't work during a power outage. It had a valve that shut off the gas if electricity wasn't present. Way to intentionally sabotage one of your biggest advantages.
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The ice compartment of our fridge. It's always a fucking compressed block that needs manually smashing up. I fucking hate it so much.
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Firewalls in general.
What about them?
They are so often stateful and fall over when some scanner comes by, or if a light DNS DoS attack happens, compromising the entire access link, when the scanned systems or the DNS server weren't even bothered by the amount of requests.
They introduce weird unexpected restrictions, like preferring to blackhole our customers traffic rather than accepting some asymmetric routing. And then we get blamed for their setup, which they don't even know.
They ossify protocol development in general, requiring things like header encryption in QUIC to force them to ignore things that aren't their business anyway.
They are apparently also expensive as hell, multiple customers have declined upgrades because they don't have fast enough firewalls and not enough budget to buy faster ones.
Those are the ones that come to mind right now. There are also occasional bugs that make our or our customers lives difficult, but I can't recall a clear one at the moment.
Everything with a built in lithium battery that isn't easy to swap. Phones, headphones, vapes, the weird gameboy thing I got offa aliexpress.
Alexa.
My apartment gym has a Nordictrack treadmill that I hate nearly every aspect of. First of all, it requires you login to use any of the programs, which doesn't really work with 200 potential users. It has lost internet every single time I've used it and needs a restart, even though I use manual mode, the UI buttons are tiny and impossible to read while you're running, and don't respond correctly, and worst of all, there's no goddamn place to put your phone so you can watch Netflix.
You lost me at “login” on a treadmill lmao.
Treadmills are already pretty niche considering walking/running is free.
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Coffee dispenser at work. It acts up like it's a printer. Replace left cartridge. Replace right cartridge. Cleaning required. Thorough cleaning required. Unknown leak. Heating water please wait. Unknown error. Fuck that, I'll piss in a cup myself if I don't get my coffee now.
Then there's also the towel roll thing in the toilets. I swear it's stuck for longer time than it's functioning. It'd be a full time job keeping that rolling throughout the day
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Samsung Fridge (don't judge me, it came with the house).
I knew it was a "when" and not and "if" it would start having issues, and it finally showed its colors last month.
Front panel buttons either refused to work at all or would cycle through every option continuously and randomly.
Want water? Sorry, only crushed ice today. Want ice? Sorry, just water today. Oh, I actually did want water (starts dispensing). PSYCH! Now I'm going to shoot ice at you and splash water everywhere.
Was about to just toss the thing and get something dumber and more reliable, but decided to roll the dice with a replacement control board from ebay. Thankfully, that worked and I'm only out $80.
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