Your best chance to kill a gorilla in a fight is probably to move so much air around him that he catches a f*cking cold and dies from it. If you don't actually touch him you may even have a non-0 survival chance as he ignores you.
Greentext
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
This made me think of that time my partner's brother told me in complete earnest that he'd be able to jump off a skateboard going 20+ mph and run it out based solely off the fact that the fastest recorded human running speed is 28 mph and therefore he, an average fit 20 y.o. should be able to achieve 75% of that.
That would be how to do it. Humans have pretty good endurance as far as animals go. And gorrilas have pretty terrible punching technique and waste a lot of energy on those shitty downward over head swings that are pretty telegraphed.
My money will still be on the gorilla though unless you ad a few more people
if it wasn't so unethical towards the animals, i would love to let those people go for it.
Could only improve the human gene pool.
I'd fight a gorilla, and win.
It would be a gun fight, from a distance, but a fight none-the-less, and I guarantee you, I know how to shoot better than a gorilla.
I've seen a chimp with an AK.
I wouldn't want to fight a gorilla with a PKM.
Pshhh, those idiots gave that chimp the ak and then stood right there making a scene of it, the chimp happened to decide to pull on the trigger and the gun started firing off randomly. None of them got shot either. That gorilla is fucked.
Chimps chimp out, they're chumps.
Gorillas are more deliberate.
The gorilla will rip his arms off and beat him to death with them before he even attempts to dodge it.
I wanna be a gorilla field researcher. They're cool. I saw a video where a wildlife photographer was following a gorilla too close, and you're like, "that animal is fuck this guy up", right? Nah. The gorilla punches him in the face and keeps walking.
Is thisnJoe Rogan
Google how much force do I have to give to the dome of a gorilla in punching to give him a debilitating concussion?
I got dunk and decide I could beat a brick wall in a fist fight once.
And then you were introduced to the term boxer's fracture...
Nah I had good friends with me.
Mike Tyson, in his prime, wanted to fight a gorilla. Mike Tyson was told he would be killed and backed down.
nah but anon is built different
Yes, wrong mostly.
Especially in the head department.
If not for the ethics on the side of the gorilla in terms of making them fight a human, I legitimately do think we should let every single person who thinks they can 1v1 them try. Idiocy of this level voluntarily removing itself from the gene pool is a net good for the species.
It would at least give LiveLeak a reason to return.
Sure, like a baby gorilla that has just been born and has been removed from the mother.
Apparently gorillas are about 5 times stronger than a chimp, and I've seen what a chimp can do to a person.
Gorillas mostly leave people alone because they don't find us the slightest bit threatening.
Well don't leave us hanging what do the chimps be doing to em??
Rip their arms, face, and genitals off, then leave you suffering.
Chimps are fucking brutal and absolutely terrifying.
Gorilla's will literally tear you to pieces.
https://www.reddit.com/r/primatology/comments/11nqwsa/how_strong_are_chimpanzees_compared_to_humansalso/
Just putting this here because chimpanzees, while strong, aren't THAT strong. A big strong male human is stronger than a big strong male chimpanzee.
A gorilla of course would tear any person apart like tissue paper.
Yeh what chimps got on humans is they go from zero to ripping your face off in 0 seconds flat, humans either require a lot of buildup to get that pissed or some kind of drug.
Florida man has entered the enclosure.
Apparently it is an instinctive way that chimps fight. First they gouge your eyes so you can't defend yourself. Then bite your hands so you can't attack. Then they rip off your genitals because fuck you that's why.
Years of martial arts training can give you this ability too, i mean, anon gonna be killed, but he won't hesitate
Idk about you, but I hesitate to get myself killed.
Gorillas' bones and muscles are way beyond anything this guy could ever experience in his 7 years of fighting idiots. I say idiots because they fight for money and fame, not for survival as a gorilla would. Jesus, their butt probably has more muscle mass than this guy's whole body. BTW, no homo.
Gorilla proceeds to pull his arms and legs off his body, and slap him a bit with his own arms before returning to breakfast.