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'Completely out of reach': Why Bernhard Raimann playing for Colts in Germany is impossible (www.indystar.com)

submitted 1 year ago by TMWNN@alien.top to c/nfl@nfl.community

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[–] NoRun1294@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This headline was written in the style of the doctor from Arrested Development.

Headline: "They did all we could to save him."

Article: And they did.

[–] Quirky-Lawyer-3409@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

"It looks like he's dead."

"Wait a minute. Is he actually dead or just looks like it."

"Just looks like it. He's got blue paint on him or something."

[–] Flat_News_2000@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

"Your brother is all right."

"Oh thank god..."

"A seal bit off his left hand, so he's all right now."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH"

[–] QuirkyScorpio29@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

BS Headline designed to give us heart attacks

[–] ThomasMarkov@alien.top 1 points 1 year ago

I studied math in grad school and was trying to figure out wtf Bernhard Riemann, a German mathematician in the 1800s, had to with football. It is, in fact, impossible for him to play for the colts today.