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Everytime I encounter a praying mantis, it's like this. I see them, them see me. I am like "oh cool a mantis." It gets all defensive, raising those fucking scythe arms. I am like "whoa bud chill" and then it flies at my face, I smack it out of the air and am like "now why'd you have to go an do that for? Now you're fucked up."
He's so high he doesn't realize that the bug blocking his door is the professor
It's Professor Hanks
https://sib.illinois.edu/departments/entomology/directory/faculty
Fun fact: he's in fact Tom Hanks' brother
Why does she have wings!?
Redbull
makes awful whirring noise
That would be because of the caffeine
This may have worked. I once excused a student for being late because the geese were being aggressive.
i'm not a teacher, but if i was i'd excuse it just because they took the effort to compose such a crazy story. probably learned more than i'd have taught them that day a anyway
Oh, the funniest part of this to me was how certain I was it was true. I used to have to find alternate routes into the building all the time because of the geese. I think they nested in the bushes near all the doors. If it wasn't, it was a very good lie and I appreciated the effort anyway.
yeah, as a canadian i feel like i criminally neglected that part of your comment
If the class was on Kafka I'd give them top marks
as an etymologyst, it really bugs me when i get n to my work
I’m newly a teacher (of adults), and I accept literally any excuse anyone gives me. I suspect that I’ll change that as time goes on, but I don’t even really get excuses.
I'll generally accept it if you send any excuse prior to the lecture unless it's becoming a habit - in those rare cases I'll happily work with them to try and figure out a solution. 80% of the time it's family medical appointments or childcare scheduling issues (and my gosh I am so happy to accommodate people dealing with that) and the rare cases it's not we can usually find a way to make up for what they've missed. I've got a couple colleagues that only accept excuses with a doctor's note, and the best thing I can say about them is that they're ~~retiring soon~~ incredibly passionate about teaching.
(none of this applies to freshman courses, though. We've learned that being really strict about attendance for freshman year boosts passing rates by like 30%, it's just crazy.)
who cares about collage attendance?
in my uni no one cared, of you're late, it's just a bit rude, of you don't show up, no one cares.
what matters are the graded assignments and exams. if a student aces those but never stepped in a lecture hall, does that matter?
This was for a lab I was teaching, so they had to be there in person. It was a 3 hour block, so I wouldn't have even asked why they were late. I only even remember 5+ years later because they came rushing in with an explanation and I thought it was hilarious.
One of my biggest pet peeves in college was professors who took attendance. Bitch, I'm paying you to be here, if I don't want to come to class, that's on me. It was usually when they knew that most people could skip every class and still pass.
I even once had a class in a lecture hall with at least 100 students, where the teacher took attendance using some stupid "clicker" thing that we had to buy at the school bookstore. Ridiculous. Pisses me off just thinking about it.
While it's good that you are disciplined enough that you can succeed without it, many students benefit greatly from a rigid structure more in line with the educational environment they experienced up to that point. After freshman year, attendance requirements are usually greatly relaxed since people have gotten into the swing of things (like not having to ask to to go to the bathroom anymore, god what even is the public school system). Personally I don't care if you show up or not, you'll learn something important either way and if someone uninterested isn't there it means I have more time for the other students.
Also I can 100% promise that clicker thing was a contractual obligation from the publisher and not the instructor's idea. Those things are fuckin' awful to support on the instructor's side, and goddamn Pearson managed to tie using their shitfucking software (including those goddamn clickers) to the state and federal grants unis rely on for funding. Fuck pearson.
Oh no, I skipped class all of the time lol I was a terrible student
This was a long time ago, and I think the clickers were like brand new. The professor was really into trying to make it work. They even tried to use them to quiz us during class. It was a living nightmare.
I accepted "I'm sorry, it was just too nice a day to spend it sitting in a basement with no windows" once because man, they had a point.
Immediate failure for not being academia levels of brain-broken. You'll sit in your cube and like it!
Damn cobra chickens getting all hissy and angry just because I don’t have bread for them. Entitled bastards.
Respectfully, I am in tears,
My brain at random
Might make this my work signature tbh
There's no bug. But there's a mirror and that student has turned into a bug.
That time I was reincarnated as a bug and got spooked by my own reflection.
modern manga titles be like
The light novel would be titled "That time I was reincarnated as a bug and got spooked by my own reflection, only to miss a class and almost not get together with the love of my life (another bug) by not passing"
the amount of text in the mangas has remained relatively consistent. while the title wordcount has been growing out of control.
it is a matter of time before the titles themselves become while novels, followed by about 70 black and white manga pages.
Totally Kafkaesque.
Kafkaesque as shit
OP is Gregor Samsa
I mean, I’m still marking you absent. But you’re definitely getting an A for creative effort!
Even sending me a note that you're going to be late is more consideration than I usually get, but I've got enough on-spectrum students that I can very much see this being a legit scenario (though I teach CS so it's a little heavy on the neurodivergent representation). IDK, if they're an otherwise decent student I might let this slide (once), though almost entirely for the novelty of someone actually letting me know they're running late.
The specific wording of the note is a direct reference to Kafka's metamorphosis! So depending on the class and year, teacher should be proud.
Hey, the were honest. I'd let it fly
And scare the poor student even more???
Last time i've read this it hadn't had that huge white spacing.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
ma'am, this is the last time i'm gonna tell you to stop that before i call Costco security.
If one more motherfucker walks in and says this shit in target I'm gonna lose it
I'll allow it
Did nobody get the reference or is everybody in on the joke?