this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
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Today I Learned

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[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 55 points 2 months ago (6 children)

someone, at some point, took the biggest dump in history. and didn't even know it

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 8 points 2 months ago

My $ is that it’s been someone in the last 30 years who is a big eater with an opiate habit.

They suspected. They couldn't confirm it.

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

``Doesn't seem fair if you count diarrhea. All that water weight.

If so, it's probably someone with cholera

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I am currently in process. Haven't stopped pooping for 17 years.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

That's probably why the YMCA won't let you in.

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Pffffft...

Those are rookie numbers

I can do that in a year when my IBS is flaring up

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Fisting with IBS, hey?

I thought cooking bacon naked was playing dangerous games.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Oh, I'm the fister rather than the fistee

I've given it a shot (I'm no hypocrite) but it didn't really excite me

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I’ve never fisted or been fisted but the size of some of my Bad Dragon dildos prolly counts

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They're surprisingly different experiences

Especially because I can change the shape of my hand once it's in

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

That’s fair! Dynamic shape is cool, but so are knots and flares!

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Yep. Opened that and immediately exited it.

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[–] can@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Yo wtf. You warned me but I could not have anticipated that.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's definitely a bit unconventional

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

On any other day it would have been the most disturbing thing I've seen all day.

[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 months ago

Oh, I have much more extreme content than that...

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

You load 3.5 tons, what do you get?

Another day older and deeper in shit

St. Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go

My toilet over-flows on the company floor

[–] cabron_offsets@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

OP is full of shit.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

Rookie numbers

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] Widdershins@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How many miles of feces? Are we talking to the scale of as long as the Panama canal, the length of New York, around the equator, or to the moon (and back)?

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

The average density of human feces is approximately 1.06 grams per milliliter
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_feces

Normal stool (Type 4) typically has a diameter of about 1 to 2 cm http://d2xk4h2me8pjt2.cloudfront.net/webjc/attachments/73/57bbee4-bristol-stool-chart.pdf

Radius = 0.75 cm

Density = 1.06 g/cm³

Mass = 3,500,000 g

Volume = 3,500,000 / 1.06 = ~3,301,887 cm³

Cross-sectional area = π × 0.75² = ~1.767 cm²

Length = 3,301,887 / 1.767 = ~1,868,000 cm = 18,680 m = 18.7 km

So 18.7km or 11.6 miles

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[–] FistingEnthusiast@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

That would depend on the tightness of the anus

Are we talking about someone who squeezes out pencils, or a log-dropper?

[–] jagged_circle@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Irrelevant. We roll them into ISO standard poo diameter after excretion

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Mom look im finally above average

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Those are rookie numbers!

[–] Goretantath@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

3 and a half metric shit tons.

[–] Numenor@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)
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[–] FeelzGoodMan420@eviltoast.org 5 points 2 months ago

I feel like I'm trending in line to make at least like 6 metric tons of shit. 3.5 seems low.

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

I'm going for the high score

[–] HowAbt2morrow@futurology.today 4 points 2 months ago

My uncle knocks that out every leap year. 3,5 tons ain’t shit.

[–] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 4 points 2 months ago
[–] Worx@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 3 points 2 months ago

Was an outlier and will not be included in this study.

[–] FuckFascism@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

How much cum?

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 months ago

And a smidgeon or three of PFAS and plastics and heavy metals.

[–] eaterofclowns@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe you do; I produce far more feces by replying to comments on the internet

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 2 months ago

I am the one who shits. 😤

[–] Beacon@fedia.io 2 points 2 months ago

38 liters sounded impossibly low, and then i saw the 3 zeros after the space

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