Watches

I’m curious as to if he even had them insured as his wife would pretty easily notice or be informed that there were $200k of watches on a rider or on their own policy. If they aren’t insured and collected over a long period of time perhaps purchased for much less than the current value idk that just trips me up.

Give to his kids instead

First of all sorry for your loss. What would your friend want you to do? I'm pretty sure if you notify the wife she will take them all and sell them quickly as your friend told you before. Maybe keep one (low value) to remind your friend and have a keepsake then inform the wife of his collection and pass the rest over to her, she will not be sharing this with you sadly.

if there is no legal reliabilities .. I would consider liquidating them and claim the husband left money/cash in the company safe or something and just give the wife the money without the secret (watches) ..

Don't kiss and tell, you probably already knew what you were going to do.

Anyone here allowing for the possibility of keeping the watches is - I don't know how else to say it - just a piece of shit. Maybe this gets deleted for being too personal, but truth is truth, and this is legitimately gross to see.

At no point were these the property of OP. In no way could that have changed. Keeping them is stealing, and there is no justification that makes that okay.

Seriously, get some help, guys. You're simply not well.

Bring the collection to his wife. Tell her facts. Ask if you can keep one for sentimental reasons.

Keep one of them and give her the rest.

I think wearing those watched would be the best way to honour him, if my friend ever left me something like that id be afraid to damage or lose it but id be honoured to wear it in his place

I understand you made him a promise but it feels really unethical to hide 200k worth of assets from his widow. The promise made a lot of sense when he was alive but I think you both had a good run, time to call it.

Step 1: friend show up. "I want you to keep $200k worth of assets hidden from my wife for some reason. If she knew, she would buy frivolous things."
Step 2: friend dies.
Step 3: go back to the wife. "Hey by the way, I have this $200k worth of watches that belong to your husband because I promised to be part of the lie with him. He thought you were making frivolous purchases"

That's a really nice situation that OP painted. It was unethical in the fist place, and now the spotlight in on OP.

Bonus point for "My wife is a spendy bitch, she would spend all the money on travel and clothes. I'm a responsible adult, I have $200k worth of watches I am hiding from here."

OP, the collection was never yours. Why is there any question about what to do. You need to fess up and face the consequences.

Smarten up. Give to someone to hold and keep quiet. If the wife had any inkling you would have been contacted.

He asked you to hide it so he could use them while he was alive. Unless your friend hated his wife and was planning to divorce I don't understand what there is to think about. Give your friends widow her $200k you sick fuck.

You’re asking if you can keep $200k in assets because you made a pinky promise to a friend?

Considering your friend had a 200k watch collection, I assume he was well off and left his widow well endowed. If that's the case, I'd say keep them. Your friend found an appreciation for them that obviously she does not have, so in his spirit, enjoy them. If I were the friend who died, and I saw my watches sold off by my lady to buy new purses, shoes, etc. (which being honest would probably just get worn once, then sit in boxes in the closet) I'd for sure come back and haunt you.

Firstly... Condolences for your loss. Nobody should have to go through this.

Am I the only person here that sees this as something more than just money, though? He trusted you for a reason. He also enjoyed watches for something more than their value.

Imagine he knew of his passing ahead of time. Do you think he'd then say "don't tell my wife until I die."? I'd wager not. He wouldn't say that because he'd know his love for watches would still be traded for money and then used on things HE might not approve of.

If I were the person saying these words to a friend I'm entrusting 200k to, I'd 100% want him to keep them and ENJOY them for what they are... Not what their worth.

This is how I see it... Maybe I'm whack, idk. Usually I'm super conservative about these things but it seems like he knew what he was doing when he said what he said. Nobody seems to take those words into account just because of his death.

You're legally obligated to share this information with the wife.

She just lost her husband, and probably her income/wealth. Doing anything but giving those watches to his estate is morally and ethically wrong.

Because they were married, she will automatically inherit most of his assets. She does not inherit his debt, but she will have to pay it off. I don’t think probate would be involved unless he had an enormous amount of money in his name only. I don’t know what business you guys own, but you’re gonna want to talk to a lawyer about how that gets distributed. No idea what contracts you guys may have had. You could inherit the business, you may end up with a new partner in his wife, or you may have to pay her off. As far as the watches, she’s unlikely to ever find out. If I were you, I would not do anything till I answered the business side of the questions first. After that you’ll have to do whatever your conscious tells you. if you think your friend did not want her to have them, stick with that. If you think she’s gonna need the money, acknowledge it, there’s always the middle ground that you give some back and she keeps some too. Keep in mind when there’s death and money involved. Things can get nasty pretty quick.

Sorry for your loss.

Honestly if it were my friend, I’d hold on to them if he had kids for their 18th, graduation, or wedding. Legally probably the wife’s. If no kids, pick the one you find the most memorable and give the rest to the family. Does he have a dad or brother you could also give them to?

Don't snitch buddy. It's yours, enjoy it in his memory.

Are you sure he didn’t gift you those watches?

I’m shocked OP needed to even make a post about this. Rightful ownership of property vs a “promise” which didn’t take into account death? Your friend didn’t want to hear it from his wife on purchases as she’d give him grief about spending so much there. You think now she rather have them or not? These are legally theirs

If your friend left a sizeable estate to his wife, maybe she'll just let you keep them? Just talk to her, tell her the truth. Worst case, you'll know you did the right thing and at least you got to wear some badass watched for a while

Sorry for you loss. Whatever you decide to do, be sure the widow will fight you for the collection, and has a very good chance at winning in court. And let’s say you take the chance, prove it was his will and dying wish to leave the collection to you, she still owes 50% of it (in most instances), because when someone purchases assets while married without a prenup of some sort, all bought things are 50-50 in ownership. So at the very least, you’ll lose 100k. If her plan will most likely be to sell them and take the money, maybe the best thing to do is to stay quite and enjoy the collection and wear it to honor your late friend. If she needs the money dearly and you want a clear conscious, give it to her, but accept that it will most likely go to a seller for a low price, and it might stir up some trouble with the widow as she’ll become aware that her late husband had a secret watch collection hidden from her.

Holy crap the number of incels in this sub is staggering. We know nothing of the deceased or his wife except the heresy provided by OP.

She didn’t like him spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on watches. How tf is this a sticking point for anyone. Even the most fervent watch collectors admit how absurd it is that we spend such ridiculous sums of money on watches. OP said she would ask him to sell (understandable) and “probably” spend the money on clothes and traveling. Given the deceased was married to her, I’m going to make the not-so-large leap and assume they traveled together. An overwhelming majority of people would rather spend 10k on a trip than a watch. As far as spending the money on clothes, how is this any different than spending the money on watches? Travel is enjoyed by both, materialistic items are enjoyed by one. Whether watches or clothes, they are both selfish uses of money.

In community property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin), each spouse equitably owns anything earned during the marriage. Each spouse can do whatever he or she likes with his or her share of the community property. All other states are equitable distribution or common law states. The law is more complicated in these states as there are a number of factors that determine the distribution of property.

Though the deceased did not have a will, it is notable that there are laws that protect spouses from being disinherited even if a will tries to do so. Surviving spouses are often entitled to 1/3-1/2 of the estate’s assets provided they make a claim in court.

Hiding assets from your spouse is unethical and (in some cases) illegal. The level at which the deceased was concealing assets is morally untenable. If they were in such stark disagreement about their finances, they should have divorced, in which case he would legally have to disclose the watches.

Not only should you 'ang on to dem watches, you should figure out if there's something you could do to screw her over in some way. She sounds like an awful aul cunt.

This is really a question for a real-life estate lawyer.

Dude, he's dead. Tell the wife, and if she's the only heir, she can do with them as she will.

I'd encourage her to keep one as a keepsake, but without kids, there's not really anyone to pass them down to or anything, and she can do a lot with $200k. Like invest it to maintain her quality of life.

They aren't your watches, so I wouldn't keep them.

Ngl…if it were me I’d delete the post/comments, delete my account, and keep them safe to honor my friend. Not advise or telling you to do anything, obviously.

Fuck that, keep them.

He didnt want his wife to know about them, nor to have them.

You should honor your word, and the wishes of your friend.

Sorry for your loss but wtf is with that wife? Doesn't ALLOW him to buy things? That's fucked up.

Maaaaaaannnnnnn if this was a legal advice subreddit I would have very different advice but since this is r/Watches I would pick 1 or 2 watches that you have fond memories of him with, and give the rest to his wife because its the right thing to do and legally its her property. It's HIS WIFE. His money and property becomes hers on his unfortunate passing. She also is grieving and will probably need the money long term if he was the main provider.

Simple, hes dead, the promise is over, give the watches to the wife, they are hers.

What watches.

Never forget the bro code.

Sounds to me like the deceased wasn’t hurting for money. I bet the widow is going to be just fine, financially. Any input, OP?

Nobody's mentioned: There will be a full accounting of the estate even without a will. The wife will have access to any and all bank accounts, credit cards, etc. There's a high likelihood she would discover the purchases, in which case the friend will find himself in legal jeopardy.

If one of my homies trusted me with a secret from his wife and took it to his grave…. Nobody besides me would ever know, ever.

I would check with a lawyer about your legal exposure. If it is determined to be your property then you get to decide what you want to do with it. Including keeping it or giving it to the widow or selling it, Sounds like money is not a need for any of you though. Is there any inventory of the watches or any paperwork showing what he purchased and at what price? I would find those in case any watches are missing or you are accused of holding anything back.

If you have access to a lawyer regarding your joint business, contact him to work with the executor. I'm a retired litigator but I would not give you any advice beyond this because as noted by u/zemere most of the people giving legal advice in response to your post do not even know what state you and the decedent live/lived in. Most real lawyers will look at this post and spot issues and have questions. Not answers.

Interesting dilemma. I’d be lying if I said that my first thought wasn’t to keep them, as I feel it’s highly unlikely to be discovered. Others have pointed out that it might not be difficult though, assuming there’s some paper trail. Although depending on the situation, it might be near impossible to find out where they’ve gone.

Regardless, the monetary value raises a large moral issue. I presume he loved his wife and while he wanted his watches, while he was alive, there’s no way to say that he wouldn’t just as much want their liquid value to help his wife while she’s alive.

Personally, I’d probably return all but the most sentimental one. Assuming I felt confident that my business partner/friend would want me to have one to remember him by.

I think he would want you to give them away to people who would care for them rather than sell them. I’ll take one off your hands if you want. Least worth automatic, I’m not picky. 🤓

start loading your pockets bro

Keep that shit or create a scholarship for his kids and buy them a nice watch when they graduate college.