this post was submitted on 24 Jun 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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4567 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
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top 50 comments
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[–] SoupBrick@pawb.social 154 points 1 week ago (3 children)

There are two men inside you. You will not be able to walk straight tomorrow.

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] darksiderbun@lemmy.ca 21 points 1 week ago

Love the username too lmao

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[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago (5 children)

Girl here. I would eat free onion rings.

[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Any consenting adult with a clean dick and zero expectations.

[–] WizardofFrobozz@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Two outta three?

[–] Uli@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Any consenting time with dick expectations and clean zeros.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago

Any consenting surface with zero dicks and clean expectations.

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[–] rodneyck@lemmy.dbzer0.com 48 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

🎶 'Cause if you like it, then you should've put a ring on it

If you like it, then you should've put a ring on it 🎶

[–] cRazi_man@lemm.ee 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Someone eating bitey food off a boner sounds risky and scary.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Bitey food cooked in boiling hot oil.

I’ll pass.

[–] BudgetBandit@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 week ago

Well at least it ain’t calamari

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I'm bi. But because of reasons I've never openly explored my sexuality with another guy. A while back I got bored and switch my dating profile to accept everyone as potential matches. Overnight my tinder blew up, message after message like after like. It was overwhelming with the amount of potential matches so I deleted my account and tried again

[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago
[–] CanadianCarl@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I am curious, more messages from which gender?

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 16 points 1 week ago

Men.

I went from 3 likes from women exclusively to 99+ from both in like two weeks.

[–] HatchetHaro@pawb.social 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

i love how there are some straight men in the comments getting offended as if this post was directed specifically at them.

like, bruv, you don't know that it's for you, so chill. maybe it's for the pansexuals or intersex people out there, who knows?

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[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 23 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Come on man at least let me try girls first, what else am I supposed to do with this attraction to breasts

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago

Nah man I already got those kind and they're not good enough, plus most fat guys don't have a very good figure

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[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 16 points 1 week ago

Find a guy with nipples on his ass and go ham

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 1 week ago

Could we swap to funions? Cold onion rings are gross and hot onion rings seem like a real problem (in context).

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 20 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

I believe there's a much broader spectrum as straight, gay, bi. I was never sure where I belong on this scala.

Like, I thought I was straight during my entire teens. Sometime in the early 2000s, I discovered the joys of online porn, and then found that the guys in porn sometimes seemed more interesting to me than they should. But having sex with a guy? No way. I thought.

So I spent my life, a below average looking guy, starved for sex for a long time, except the occasional awkward and underwhelming experience with humans of the female persuasion. Smoking a lot of weed to fill the internal void. One day, met a fellow weed smoker online. Lived nearby, gamer. Knew where to get good weed. After a couple of weeks we met. He told me he was gay. I was like, alright, sure. We played NHL Hockey and smoked a lot of weed. He asked me if he could suck my dick. Stoned as fuck, I said yes. Best blowjob I've ever had. But then, I ghosted him. Why? No idea. Couldn't face the fact that I might be bi? Not sure to this day.

In my late 30s, I got married. And turns out once we were married, my wife turned asexual. So now I'm stuck in a straight life with no joy and no sex, getting closer to 50 every day. Even had to quit smoking weed. Boy, do I regret ghosting that guy.

So to this day, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't turn down a gay guy if an opportunity arose, even though I lean more towards women. I'm just a guy leading a sad existence in the closet and this comment turned out to be a much gloomier confession than I intended it to be when I started typing. Sorry.

[–] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 week ago

Do not apologize. That's quite the story you have.

If you're unhappy with where you are, who you are with, or who you are, you can always change. It's never too late and trust me, as a long term supporter of the LGBTQ+ movement (despite being very straight/cis), they are a very accepting group.

As an outsider, I can't tell you what, how, or when changes are going to work best for you, nor what changes you could, or should make. That's entirely your decision and it's a big one, and I'm sorry about that. I'm only saying that it's not too late to figure out who you are and how to be comfortable with your life.

All the best. Take care of yourself.

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[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Apollo doesn’t show me post authors in my main feed but sometimes you just know a Stamets post.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

What can I say... I am nothing if not homosexual

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Feels like it occasionally. You know why I'm the mod of /c/Gay@Lemmy.world? Because when I started posting ages ago, I posted some memes in /c/Gay. The mod there just went "I don't wanna be mod anymore" and randomly added me as a mod and left being a mod himself. No warning. Found out a couple days later noticing the M next to my name.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've been fortunate enough to have experienced that. It's so weird to be given the keys to the castle overnight and not know what to do with them.

[–] Stamets@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Exactly. Like with TenForward, I made it specifically to get away from abusive admins of another instance. Fine. I knew that was coming. But being left stood there like "Wait why can I remove other peoples posts" is just so fuckin bizarre. I don't know if Lemmy ever added an update notifying you you're a mod or anything. Maybe something in the automod. It is a bit nuts that you can just be dubbed mod lol

[–] TheBeege@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

That's gnarly. But thank you for your labor in supporting these communities. We love you for it

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Another daily reminder that the straights, myself included, are not Ok.

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[–] Dragonborn3810@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Ahh I love that I knew exactly who'd posted this the moment I read it

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago

Tell them they can get their own damn onion rings.

[–] Zexks@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That sounds like it would chaff or cause some kind of reaction

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[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

I wish I could eat onion rings off myself ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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