Heavn is a human construct, so really, nobody's going there.

What about people who wear solid color t-shirts that have long-ass slogans on them which are super specific and seemingly only apply to a single person on the entire face of the Earth often written in a variety of fonts and font-sizes and including bizarre details about their lives like the t-shirt that was given to me by my same-sex lover on the second Saturday in June of 2021 to celebrate the fact that I managed to clear an entire thornless blackberry bush of berries that we used to make the most delicious blackberry cobbler from that very same evening?

Short people will not go to heaven.

Well, obviously. They can't reach.

Did they pull that last bit from the Doors song?

Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?

Removed tattoos, just like lost limbs, will return when you enter Heaven.

When I got my first tattoo 30 years ago, my then mother-in-law said I'd be in prison soon enough. So far I've managed to be a good citizen (it seems following the law is easy), but I've got a plan for this to prove her right. When I'm about to go bye bye , I'm going to strip naked and run around on live TV, probably at a sporting event. That will at least get me arrested, and if I resist arrest and generally be annoying, I'm might go to prison to let the state pay for all the medical things associated with my demise. These tattoos are a bad influence. Hell awaits.

What if god said you may go to heaven only if you climb these stairs but you're on a wheelchair type shit