this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
498 points (95.4% liked)

Not The Onion

18216 readers
303 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] blaze@programming.dev 6 points 1 month ago

"What Undercover Brother said was true"

  • My wife
[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

As if I needed additional reasons to hate this man.

[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (3 children)

A food the French took from the island of Minorca, Spain.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Bloomcole@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

This is the petty level of american campism and 'news'
Tomorrow at 8, watch the spectacular 2 hour documentary: "Orange man uses wrong fork at formal dinner!"

Surprising...(checks notes)...nobody.

[–] shai_hulud@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I bet he fucking GAGS for Cheeto dust

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago

he huffs and snort it, while hotboxing it.

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

The mark of the beast

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago

Profoundly weird people.

[–] El_guapazo@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

So Elon was just a different form of the mayo?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] AnimalsDream@slrpnk.net 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hummus obsoletes mayo. No they're not the same thing. But one is objectively better.

[–] Ton@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

He does have a wife? That's the news here...

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] _cryptagion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago

Why does she look like his sister?

[–] ef9357@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I wonder if she smears herself with a thick layer of mayo before their sexy times.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

i mean i like mayo well enough, but maybe now i'm an aioli guy

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

Whatever, she's married to him, so that's proof that she's a pig.

That's fucking disgusting.

[–] Dorkyd68@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 month ago

Stephen "PeeWee Himmler" Miller

[–] Formfiller@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought she ran away with Elmo?

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

wasnt it the other wife of one of trumps cabinets? or it was her?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

That tracks

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›