kescusay

Hi everyone,

News is weird. When it's weird enough, it reads like articles from The Onion, and that's what we're all about. But as the community grows, there's more and more content being posted here that just isn't very Onion-y.

Jimmy Carter Becomes Second President Convicted Of Felony For Sticking Up Waffle House

Take a look at that headline from The Onion today. Or this one:

World Series Of Poker Entrants Play One Hand Face-Up So Everyone Can Learn Rules

Or this one:

New Hormone-Free IUD Wards Off Sperm With Steady Emission Of Police-Grade Pepper Spray

That's the flavor we're going for. We want real, credible news articles with headlines that read like they're from The Onion.

This is not the community for:

• Non-Onion-y political news (it's gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
• Non-Onion-y regular news (it's gotta be absurd enough to look Onion-y)
• Satire (it's gotta be actual news)
• Fake news from fly-by-night "news" sites (again, it's gotta be actual news)

That means not every ridiculous thing a politician does qualifies as appropriate content here.

I need your help, though... I need people to report content that just isn't Onion-y, and I need people to try not to post non-Onion-y content in the first place.

Finally, I need help moderating, so this is also a formal call for new mods! Post below if you think you're ready to take on moderation for one of the larger Lemmy communities! Tell me why you'd like to mod, and link to a news story from any time (it doesn't have to be current) that has a properly Onion-y headline, to show that you really get this community.

I'll pick two people to become new moderators for the community from participants. Good luck!

Some context:

Former Trump White House Communications Director Michael Dubke suggested on CNN Tuesday that Trump had mobilized his allies and proxies to the courthouse in an effort to “get around the gag order” imposed on him by Judge Merchan.

Yep. He's trying to violate the gag order indirectly. Unfortunately for him, the gag order specifically includes attempting to have surrogates violate the order on his behalf.

I suspect there's another gag order hearing incoming.

Those calls came after numerous media outlets reported potentially identifying biographical information about the woman, including her job and the neighborhood she called home. Fox News Jesse Watters highlighted the juror's details while reading through public pool notes about the selected members. "This nurse scares me if I'm Trump," Watters said.

TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — A Florida man was arrested last month after admitting he sent a bomb threat to himself to get “revenge” on someone, according to a criminal complaint obtained by NBC affiliate WBBH.

So while Texas is basically entirely on fire, California is getting New York's weather.

Just a reminder that it's still February, people.

A Florida man was arrested Tuesday morning after he drove through a closed beach and into the ocean in Volusia County.

According to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, shortly before 9 a.m., deputies were called to New Smyrna Beach after a vehicle drove around a closed gate and accessed the beach without paying the toll fee.

In the first day they sent out flyers, the After School Satan Club already has three students signed up for the new year.