this post was submitted on 24 Nov 2023
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I’m on my way to the clippers game with my guy friend and his coworker. Their other coworker couldn’t come so I’m a last minute substitution.

I played basketball for 2 years 17 years years ago, but I sucked and never knew what was going on. I still don’t know what’s going on. I know nothing about the players, the team, the season, the game…..please help 😭

Literally any quick rules of the game or insights of the players welcome!!

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[–] woKaaaa@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

I'm gonna be honest I wanna help you but my ass is way too lazy, so here is a message from ChatGPT that will hopefully help you:

  1. James Harden: Beard is his trademark, so he's hard to miss. On the court, he's known for his scoring ability and crafty playmaking. He's a big guard who can shoot from deep and draw fouls like nobody's business. He just got traded recently to the team this year.

  2. Kawhi Leonard: He's the quiet guy with braids. Kawhi is one of the best two-way players in the game, meaning he's great at both offense and defense. He's got big hands, which helps him with his defense. He's won two championships.

  3. Paul George (PG13): Tall, handsome, and athletic, PG13 is versatile. He can score, especially from three-point range, and is also a solid defender. He's known for being smooth on the court with a calm playing style.

  4. Russell Westbrook: An explosive guard, known for his intensity and aggressive play. He's fast, can jump high, and is known for racking up triple-doubles (double digits in points, assists, and rebounds). He is not in his prime anymore, and people will commonly refer to him as Westbrick for his poor shot accuracy and decision making.

  5. Ivica Zubac: The big man in the middle. He's tall (7 feet), which helps him in rebounding and blocking shots. Zubac isn't the star like the others, but he plays an important role in the paint.

In terms of how the season is going, they've been struggling since the Harden trade. The hope was that adding Harden would make them stronger, but they've been losing more than winning since his arrival. It's a bit of a rough patch, but the talent is there for a turnaround. They've won 3 in a row now, after a bad 6 loss streak.

[–] HomicidalRex@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Both teams get booed at the foul line.
During time outs, throw the shirts back at the cannon people.
Flagrant fouls mean you are able to run on the court to break up possible fights between players

[–] DirkNorizzki@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

If a player on the opposing team misses 2 free throws in a row, everybody in the arena gets a free Chik-Fil-A chicken sandwich

[–] PewpyDewpdyPantz@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Whichever team makes more squeaky sounds with their shoes wins.

[–] AdventurousImage2440@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

If you get kiss cammed good luck.

[–] Camimae707@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] AdventurousImage2440@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

You'd make the news if you hopped on it

[–] digging_for_memories@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

I think that one of the best parts of being in person, as long as you’re relatively close is you can see players’ body language and how they interact.

With that said one of the most relevant story lines coming into this game is that the clippers as a team have decided to mortgaged their entire future to form a supposedly rockstar cast of players. The plan started a few years ago with lots of promise, and recently was sealed when they acquired a declining, past-peak superstar James Harden (the beard) a few weeks back.

The success of this plan has been shaky since its inception, and unfortunately it has only gotten shakier since hardens arrival due to long term injury issues, baggage and drama that Harden is bringing from past teams, and concerns of whether four ball-dominant, “alpha” players can share the ball successfully when they’re on the same Clippers team.

Practically, the team lost 5 straight games since hardens arrival, but may have turned things around in the last one or two games.

Bottom line is that this team, on paper, should be amazing. But with new faces in such new places, a cast of four alphas, and a lack of continued success despite so much expectation riding on this season, it’d be interesting to see how these players interact with eachother throughout the game. Do they come together and sacrifice or do they pout and lack teamwork and chemistry? Let me know what you see!

[–] HOWARDDDDDDDDDD@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Try to avert your eyes when Westbrook steps on the floor. You might walk out of there with less of an understanding of the game than you walked in with.

[–] weirdflexjutsu@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Just yell 'Refs you suck!' everytime you hear a whistle.

[–] Jicama-Smart@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

the guy with the beard is going to do some head scratching stuff

[–] ndm801@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

You'll definetely enjoy the game, because great players like James Harden, Paul George, Kawhi Leonard and Russel Westbrook are on the field.

Harden (the guy -maybe- with the longest beard at sport history after Kimbo Slice), "if" he is -anytime- on the field, he is a GOAT Pointguard and sometimes unstoppable.

Paul George an ultimate dynamic player, who is extremely hard to defend and make dunks, that you think, there is an earthquake at the arena.

Kawhi Leonard won two times with his old teams the finals and is known for his extremely big hands for his size (like Shaqs hands).

Russel Westbrook is hated at this league, but ignore the media and enjoy his accelerating to the color and don't forget to close your mouth, after his crazy actions. Sometimes he doesn't dunk the ball, rather he wants to destroy the whole hoop.

[–] freshprinceofsolair@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Stretch your calf muscles.

[–] BoopasaurusRex_____@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Throw ball in hoop good!

[–] BlackCarl45@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Everytime someone shoot a 3pointer yell touchdown.

[–] postup14@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Don't worry: nobody else at a Clippers game knows anything about basketball either.😁