https://megelin.com/products/megelin-vitalux-laser-led-therapy-wear I thought this was a joke.
this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2026
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I was wondering why anyone would want to wear this, here are their claims:
FDA-registered & clinically proven to support mood balance, skin vitality, and pelvic health from the core outward. All-new VCSEL Laser + LED fusion delivers deep penetration and full-area coverage for root-level wellness improvement. 660nm + 1064nm laser targets the intimate core to support hormone balance, helping calm emotions and ease stress. Deep laser stimulation enhances micro-circulation to support urinary comfort and strengthen the pelvic floor. 660 + 850 + 1064nm LED coverage boosts collagen renewal across the abdomen and hips to smooth texture and reduce wrinkles.
So essentially, this will iron your ball sack, or so they claim. I don't know why anyone would like that, but ok...
Deep penetration, hee hee.
Red light therapy is reasonably well proven at this point, it's not magic but can have an effect.
Maybe it's a form of male birth control? I don't imagine an array of IR lasers delicately roasting your nuts would benefit fertility.
Turns out you were correct. Which is sad, because there is some legit science in the Red and Near Infrared area, but this and other devices are overpriced and fraudulent.
I feel like most (99%?) commerce is fraudulent, tbh.
Maybe not fraudulent since you are getting what you pay for most of the time. But I do agree, 99% of commerce is bullshit in some way or another.
I recently came across a term that describes my feelings on the matter pretty well: it's landfill-core. Our economy depends on people buying new shit, but in order to have that happen without people's homes turning into mountains of useless clutter, we have to constantly be throwing away old shit. So it seems to me the purpose of this whole economy thing is to expend tons of energy producing and transporting all kinds of shit, so that it can take a brief detour through somebody's home on the way to the landfill.
Like, the majority of human productivity goes into extracting resources that just get buried again somewhere else, if not immediately set on fire.
I didn't even guess right at what the product was for. I thought they were claiming it was a slow but steady laser hair removal at first glance for people who just liked being clean shaven. I was wondering why the mask didn't cover the chin area... Now it makes more sense
Me too lol
Your thesis describes 'enshitification', which is rampant, alas. Theodore Sturgeon, author, is credited with saying, "90% of Everything is Crap.", a.k.a. Sturgeon's Law. I did just use the phenomenon of The Superb Owl to get a great price on a new shirt, with a pair of socks and a thing (what are those lipstick containers called? ) of lip balm thrown in for free.
Tube?
Almost, not quite satisfactory. It's a dispenser tube, with a screw driven plunger. Thanks all the same!!
I thought of looking them up, too. I've thought of making my own, just for fun. :-)
Idk, where I am we just say tube.
I know its vaguely S+M themed but I cant work out exactly how.
Get someone who looks at you like
Laser gimp mask. Needs a laser ball gag to complete the look