this post was submitted on 01 May 2026
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Programmer Humor

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[–] farbidden_lands@quokk.au 38 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Luckily I believe in a version of heaven that has unlimited computers. I would spend eternity writing Rust and Haskell without worrying about deadlines or running out of Ram.

[–] JohnnyCanuck@lemmy.ca 19 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

I believe if there is a heaven and I end up there, I'll be surrounded by computers I can play with on end without anyone bothering me. If there's a hell and I end up there, I'll be surrounded by people who need help with their computer.

[–] jorge@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Fake nerd. Real nerds enjoy fixing computer problems.

[–] firelizzard@programming.dev 6 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Have you not had friends or family come to you to solve their computer problems? Their problems are almost always some tedious, boring, “How do I make program X do thing Y?” It’s just a technical literacy skill check (how well can you navigate modern apps) not an actual “do you know how computers work” problem. Tedious as fuck. God save me from that shit.

If my girlfriend was a programmer bringing me some interesting technical problem, maybe. But even then, I spend 8 hours dealing with that shit, the chances that I want to deal with more of it after work are slim.

[–] imjustmsk@lemmy.ml 2 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

lol, my friends think I'm some kind of hacker or some shit. All I do is, cry about my hyprland configs breaking after an update.

[–] firelizzard@programming.dev 3 points 10 hours ago

Yeah, I’ve had more than my fair share of people thinking I’m a wizard because I’m good at hunting down information and applying it. At my last job it got to the point where people either thought I was IT or that I was the magic computer wizard of Ox or something. “Hey, is Jira down?” “IDK, I’m not IT…” “Can you restart it?” “No, because I’m not IT…” But then I’d tell them who could actually help them so they’d always come back to me the next time they had a problem.

[–] laz@lemmy.dbzer0.com -1 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Haskell is cool but why rust?

[–] TwilightKiddy@programming.dev 12 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] marcos@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

There's no dead person out there complaining that they spent too much time in a computer...

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)
[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 9 points 21 hours ago

I almost thought to myself "I can't be bothered to watch a YouTube short", but then I thought "I can't be bothered to press Back to get out of it, either".

I am so glad that I didn't miss that, it gets better and better.

[–] RandomLegend@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago

i just set up tail scale in the cloud

[–] pewpew@feddit.it 7 points 1 day ago

Who knows, maybe in heaven they have a rig with top specs

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 3 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Unless heaven and hell turn out to be real. One you get to have fun on the computer for eternity, the other you get stuck doing IT for old people for eternity.

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 21 hours ago

Going to tell Aristóteles that his monitor is unplugged for the billionth time must be tiring.