this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] tooks@lemmy.world 7 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

My parents smoked Reds indoors their entire life. I essentially smelled like an ashtray throughout childhood until I moved out for college. Even experienced respiratory issues throughout high school sports. Used to have to borrow my grandma's portable O2 tank to use for practice breaks. I feel this, and I hate it.

[–] Tiger666@lemmy.ca 1 points 16 hours ago

I remember going on a trip with my grandparents and suffocating from the smoke in the car. That was only a few hours, I cant imagine living in a house with them.

[–] DonutsRMeh@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

Man, I shouldn't be laughing this much at this. Wtf

[–] BlackLaZoR@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago

It has electrolytes

[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 4 points 17 hours ago

Man, he's a crackhead idk why people listen to him. No different then the ramblings heard from the homeless man taking a shit front of the 711.

[–] flop_leash_973@lemmy.world 3 points 16 hours ago

Please, the male kids crave Lucky Strikes. Filtered cigarettes are for girls. /s

[–] ssfckdt@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 21 hours ago

Marlboro has what kids crave

[–] starik@lemmy.zip 3 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

If this was the 70s or earlier this is what he would be selling. If his sponsors were big tobacco, he would be pushing smoking.

[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 21 hours ago

Wouldn't be surprised

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Dude what's wrong with this guy's eyes

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 8 points 21 hours ago (1 children)
[–] PartyAt15thAndSummit@lemmy.zip 2 points 18 hours ago

I had no idea river blindness stretches that far north.

[–] Doom@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

I have a few theories.

[–] Anarki_@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago)

Windows of the soul.

Evil people often have dead eyes.

They know they're evil.

[–] VolumetricShitCompressor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 47 points 1 day ago (11 children)

We all know that you read it in his voice

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 3 points 22 hours ago

its his worms talking.

[–] fedikitty@piefed.social 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

He just sounds like the embodiment of smoker's lung.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 2 points 22 hours ago

he a smokers lung personified.

I've never heard his voice. I just imagined a gravel mixer and you know what, there it was

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 18 points 1 day ago

yes and it fricking hurt!

Oof ouch my sanity

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[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Skip the reds, straight for the raccoon penis

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 4 points 22 hours ago

and bear cubs.

[–] fedikitty@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

not the red rockets. 😭

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

FDA approves RaccoonPeen™ for every disease.

Ask your doctor if RaccoonPeen™ is right for you.

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[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago (7 children)

I give my kids a spoonful of Vaseline everyday to keep them greased up.

[–] fedikitty@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago

It helps with their constipation.

[–] Tess@piefed.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

My old cat was crazy about Vaseline, I had to fight him off whenever I opened the jar.
I’ve never seen him that enthusiastic about anything else. He was like some kind of Vaseline junky.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

... Was it ... regular... or menthol?

Did he... eat it? ... or just ... huff it?

[–] Tess@piefed.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The regular kind, he just ate it, as much as he could before I managed to drag him away from it.
It was kind of worrying to be honest.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I mean yeah that is worrying... you as either a person or cat should probably not eat jellified petroleum, yeah.

But... wtf?

Maybe he's just... hungry?

A very odd cat?

Like I'm trying to look this up, and I'm basicslly seeing this fall into the category of pica, which is essentially a mental disorder that can be triggered by a number of things...

https://www.webmd.com/pets/cats/features/unusual-cat-cravings

Maybe take kitty to the vet for a checkup?

[–] Tess@piefed.blahaj.zone 2 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

He had a thyroid problem and never managed to gain a lot of weight. Still, he grew to be quite old.
He’s been gone for over ten years now, but I still miss him.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 19 hours ago

Ah.

I'm sorry.

I've loved and lost a cat as well.

... yeah I'm basically crying right now, don't know what to say.

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Cats don't have opposable digits. Saving that jelly for later when ya aren't looking. Or maybe when you are.

[–] Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I hope they've grown a bit because you should only be feeding babies baby oil.

[–] BigBrownDog@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Only after they've had their baby powder for breakfast.

[–] Whitebrow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Teaching babies how to snort powder for breakfast must be exhausting.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 1 points 22 hours ago

baby milk comes in powder form, they should start there. also might need some methylene blue.

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[–] notwhoyouthink@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Wait is that why he talks like that tho?!

He was born during the time when conventional wisdom for expectant mothers’ concerns about weight was a simple recommendation for increased cigarette consumption.

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

He fried his brain on drugs. Also eating roadkill and bush meat.

When he was a teenager/young adult he was the drug dealer to his family and caused one cousin to lethally OD.

The guy has been a shitbag all his life.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

If I'd lived through that time, maybe I'd have a later-in-life obsession about fixing my health too. Hopefully I wouldn't swear off vaccines and chug methylene blue though.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 2 points 18 hours ago

Wildly common for sober people to get real enthusiastic about health. I mean real enthusiastic about anything really. Like wildly devoted and cannot be dissuaded

The Kennedy's were also chased by paparazzi since they were small children because they were: "Kennedys." I doubt that helped.

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[–] TachyonTele@piefed.social 10 points 1 day ago

It's time for a healthy shakin'

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