We all know that you read it in his voice
this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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yes and it fricking hurt!
Oof ouch my sanity
I also imagined the inconsistent audio level from his parkinsons or w/e hands constantly significantly shaking, and then the blam/feedback from dropping the mic.
I don't think that's Parkinson's. I think that's like lead poisoning tbh
... the dude has done so many insanely unhealthy things, its the scene from the Simpsons where all the diseases in Mr Burns are fighting each other and have somehow achieved a semi-stable equilibrium balance.
HEROIN, and a speech impediment thing going on. i suspect its mostly his heroin abuse.
He just sounds like the embodiment of smoker's lung.
he a smokers lung personified.
its his worms talking.
I've never heard his voice. I just imagined a gravel mixer and you know what, there it was
Skip the reds, straight for the raccoon penis
FDA approves RaccoonPeen™ for every disease.
Ask your doctor if RaccoonPeen™ is right for you.
Having known a number of ignorant racist smokers, I think the name would end up being:
Arguably racist enough to be NSFW
CoonPeckers
Genuine apologies if that term is racist enough to be censorable, lol, though theoretically it both means the same thing as 'Raccoon Penis' and also is racist against both black and white people at the same time.
I am more upset that the formatting is incorrect.....
not the red rockets. 😭
and bear cubs.
I give my kids a spoonful of Vaseline everyday to keep them greased up.
My old cat was crazy about Vaseline, I had to fight him off whenever I opened the jar.
I’ve never seen him that enthusiastic about anything else. He was like some kind of Vaseline junky.
... Was it ... regular... or menthol?
Did he... eat it? ... or just ... huff it?
The regular kind, he just ate it, as much as he could before I managed to drag him away from it.
It was kind of worrying to be honest.
I mean yeah that is worrying... you as either a person or cat should probably not eat jellified petroleum, yeah.
But... wtf?
Maybe he's just... hungry?
A very odd cat?
Like I'm trying to look this up, and I'm basicslly seeing this fall into the category of pica, which is essentially a mental disorder that can be triggered by a number of things...
https://www.webmd.com/pets/cats/features/unusual-cat-cravings
Maybe take kitty to the vet for a checkup?
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I hope they've grown a bit because you should only be feeding babies baby oil.
Only after they've had their baby powder for breakfast.
Teaching babies how to snort powder for breakfast must be exhausting.
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they swallow it, or the hard way?
Robert Chesebrough, the inventor of Vaseline, famously claimed to eat a spoonful every day and lived to be 96.
Exactly. It's called the Cheesebro method.
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It helps with their constipation.
Wait is that why he talks like that tho?!
He was born during the time when conventional wisdom for expectant mothers’ concerns about weight was a simple recommendation for increased cigarette consumption.
He fried his brain on drugs. Also eating roadkill and bush meat.
When he was a teenager/young adult he was the drug dealer to his family and caused one cousin to lethally OD.
The guy has been a shitbag all his life.
If I'd lived through that time, maybe I'd have a later-in-life obsession about fixing my health too. Hopefully I wouldn't swear off vaccines and chug methylene blue though.
I mean, you’re not wrong. And I don’t blame people looking for affordable answers in a system that bankrupts the sick…
However I do blame clown leadership and those that profit and gain power from said people, and this cow pie looking mfer is climbing to the top of that list.
Wildly common for sober people to get real enthusiastic about health. I mean real enthusiastic about anything really. Like wildly devoted and cannot be dissuaded
The Kennedy's were also chased by paparazzi since they were small children because they were: "Kennedys." I doubt that helped.
It's time for a healthy shakin'
Dude what's wrong with this guy's eyes
I have a few theories.
Windows of the soul.
Evil people often have dead eyes.
They know they're evil.
My parents smoked Reds indoors their entire life. I essentially smelled like an ashtray throughout childhood until I moved out for college. Even experienced respiratory issues throughout high school sports. Used to have to borrow my grandma's portable O2 tank to use for practice breaks. I feel this, and I hate it.
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Marlboro has what kids crave
It has electrolytes
Man, he's a crackhead idk why people listen to him. No different then the ramblings heard from the homeless man taking a shit front of the 711.
Did he really say this?
Wouldn't be surprised
If this was the 70s or earlier this is what he would be selling. If his sponsors were big tobacco, he would be pushing smoking.
Man, I shouldn't be laughing this much at this. Wtf
Please, the male kids crave Lucky Strikes. Filtered cigarettes are for girls. /s
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