this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2026
262 points (95.5% liked)

Dad Jokes

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This is a community for sharing those cheesy “dad” jokes that invoke an eye roll or chuckle.

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If you’re happy (lemmy.world)
submitted 7 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) by 64bithero@lemmy.world to c/dadjokes@lemmy.world
 
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[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 5 hours ago (2 children)
[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 hours ago

I CRANKED MY HOG MULTIPLE TIMES TODAY BROTHER, BUT I STILL GOT MORE! ARRROOO

[–] Thunderwolf@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago
[–] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 11 points 4 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 4 points 3 hours ago

Easy there, this is a family friendly comm.

[–] Mpatch@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Dick in a vice?

[–] farmgineer@nord.pub 2 points 3 hours ago

ハムを治まる?

[–] Steve@startrek.website 2 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Syltti@lemmy.world 8 points 2 hours ago

"Clamp your hams" is my guess.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 44 points 7 hours ago (1 children)
[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 14 points 5 hours ago (3 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 25 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

The last few posts like this that have been made, the comments were filled with people who didn't get it. I'm getting ahead of that 😤

[–] Zorque@lemmy.world 11 points 5 hours ago

How dare you help provide context instead of mocking people who don't get it. This is the internet, non-gender-specific-sir.

[–] lettruthout@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

Just not a good one.

[–] kinkles@sh.itjust.works 25 points 7 hours ago

squeeze your meat

[–] massive_bereavement@fedia.io 9 points 6 hours ago

And you call them clamped hams despite the fact that they are obviously plated.

[–] SpiffyPotato@feddit.uk 12 points 7 hours ago

Vice your gammon…?

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 hours ago

If you’ll all excuse me I’m gonna go “clamp my ham” if you get what I’m sayin… winks knowingly

[–] FUCKING_CUNO@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 hours ago

Last time someone pinched polska they got bombed by the British

[–] Sibshops@feddit.cl 3 points 6 hours ago

Squeezy your charcuterie

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 6 hours ago

..put your clamped meat loaf slice on a plate with Mediterranean design.

[–] Vandals_handle@lemmy.world 2 points 6 hours ago
[–] lime@feddit.nu 2 points 7 hours ago

tvinga din kassler?

[–] Daze@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 hours ago

Clasp your Ham